The Christmas Job
by TyrTheWry
Summary: Set in the Future of "Father", though new readers can jump right in. There is a pro-Christmas camp on Serenity, but not everyone's ready to get into the holiday spirit.
1. Pro-Christmas

**A/N:** Taking a quick Christmas break from _Father._ This is set in the Father-verse, though if you're new don't worry. All you need to know is pretty quickly explained.

* * *

"Serenity."

Inara turned to briefly look at her little co-pilot before re-focusing on docking her shuttle. A smile played on Mal's son's lips. William loved the Guild House, she knew that. He had school, friends, and lots of room to run and play at House Tianshui on Highgate. However he also would become extremely homesick for Serenity and the family he had been apart of for nearly a year. He wasn't the only one who felt that way for that matter. "It's good to be back." She sighed. Thinking about the man who William shared the majority of his looks with.

"Uh huh." The landing gear made the shuttle jolt, and the whirr of hydraulics locking the shuttle back in place filled the air. Unbuckling his seatbelt, he slid off of the chair and looked up at the Companion expectantly. He pulled on his shirt, one of a few he wore on the boat as to not ruin his school clothes. "Wonder what War's doing? Something with Kaylee probably."

"Probably." Inara rose and followed the seven-year old as he hurried into her room and to the door.

"You think they saw action?" He mused as he pushed the shuttle doors open.

"Most certainly did." Mal said as he reached over and scooped his littlest up.

"Cap'n!" William squealed happily as Mal spun him and flung him in the air.

"Lord you're heavier!" The Captain said with a grunt as he caught his boy and pulled him against his chest. "Need a hug." Mal prompted, feeling the tight squeeze on his neck as he bear hugged the boy. It had taken a while for him to warm up to the thought of having two boys from a relationship long past, longer than it took Inara. Though the hugs had been easy to get accustomed too. "Were you good?"

"Very good." Inara reassured, stepping in and reaching up to pet the head that had nestled against the Captain's shoulder so readily.

"Inara take good care of you?" He couldn't help but smile excitedly at her. It had been too long for him, the rest of the crew would attest to it and his increased surliness.

"MmHm. Where's Dàgē?" He peered over his father's shoulder, earnestly on the lookout for his teen brother.

"Helpin' Kaylee land the boat in the engine room." Mal set the boy down and ruffled his hair. "Why don't you go run up the the helm, go sit in the co-pilot's chair? Can go say your hellos once we've landed."

"Can I get a snack?" He asked, hopping towards the galley.

"Not much in the galley, we're gonna stock up once we dock." Mal watched his littlest tromp off, and then turned and looked at Inara. Finally alone with her he let out an exhale. "He's grown."

"Like a weed. I bought a case of apples for the ship." Inara stepped in.

"You spoil them so."

"When I can." She slipped her hands around his waist, leaning in for a languished kiss.

Mal slowly pulled back, smiling dreamily as he stared at her lips for a second. "Well now… you miss me Miss Serra?"

"Perhaps." Inara kissed his lips once more and studied his face. "You look tired."

"Not all of us can luxuriate at a Guild House, be wined and dined by handsome fellers and get hugs by a snuggly little pirate child."

She raised as well sculpted brow. "Well, not all of us like running back onto the ship, shot, screaming at River to retreat but to be careful because there's a box of geckos in the cargo bay."

"Hey that was one time, and those geckos were kinda cute when we caught them all and sold them to that pet store." Mal countered.

Inara narrowed her eyes skeptically.

"Okay _most _ of them. But River say's it's only one and she's close ta gettin' it ta trust her."

"Uh _huh._" Inara smoothed her delicate hand across his chest. "What's the cargo this ti-"

As she was about to finish her sentence a beautiful, buxom woman walked below into the cargo bay and set down some bags. She was followed by another, and another. All voluptuous, all in rather expensive clothes with cleavage that nearly spilled out.

She turned, giving the captain a curious look.

"Ahhhh… ain't what it seems." He rubbed his hand up her arm.

"Really? Because it seems you're transporting non-registered women." Inara bit her back teeth together to appear more agitated than she actually was. She didn't have a problem with it per-say. She did like to see him stew a bit. Especially after that bit about her luxuriating at Tianshui. "Unless of course they're in another line of work, but I've never seen a seamstress dress quite like that."

"There is a Madam down in Antilles who needed some help getting a passel of eager young ladies to her house. Eddie just happened to have an account with her establishment and had us assist her while picking up a shipment of champagne for him." Mal's hand cupped her cheek as they both watched the women.

Inara pulled away from the hand and went to the railing. "How generous. I'm sure none of them will suddenly be seen around his establishment." She mused sarcastically. "Drinking champagne."

Mal squirmed as he followed. "You know, they're all very nice. One name Trixie? She made us a big batch of cookies."

"Nice to know they're all so _friendly_. I assume she didn't make cookies the entire ten days you were in the black together." She watched him clear his throat.

"Oh well now I wouldn't say _friendly-_"

"Uh _huh_. Jayne take to one yet?"

"Her name is Sue-Ann. She's blonde."

"He certainly has a type." Inara watched the women, smiling curiously as there was a soft jolt.

"_We're docked._" River's voice echoed throughout Serenity.

There was a shriek of glee. Jayne came into view down below, laughing as he had a blonde woman slung over his shoulder.

"Jayne!" Sue-Ann giggled furiously.

"Girl you gotta stop bein' so naughty!" He bellowed, swatting her backside. "Ain't gonna get nothin' but coal fer Christmas."

"Well, I uh-I gotta go unload cargo." Mal thumbed down the stairs.

"I think Jayne has a handle on it, but alright." Inara kissed him sweetly. "Be careful where you put your hands on the cargo."

Mal looked at her startled, but then saw how she was relishing his discomfort. He scowled and grabbed her by the hips playfully. "You think you're so gorram funny, stringing me along."

Inara laughed, swatting his arm and giving him a kiss. "You really think I'd be jealous or upset?" She pressed another kiss to his frown. "Maybe I shouldn't be off ship for three weeks. Seems you forget who I am."

"You ain't upset I'm flyin' young whores to a whorehouse?"

"Are you getting _paid in money_?"

He gave her a lopsided smile. "You're just full of surprises." Letting her go, he headed down the stairs.

"Captain!" Kaylee saw him and hurried over. "Remember to ask about a Christmas bonus!"

The captain looked at her and frowned. "Kaylee we talked about this-"

"Just ask!" She pleaded, turning, she saw her friend and headed up as the cargo bay doors opened. "Hey Inara."

"What's this about Christmas?" She asked, being the recipient of a tight hug.

"I just wanna have one is all." The mechanic sighed wistfully. "We got a steady job and more importantly we got all these littles ones on the ship. They deserve somethin' nice. Hell I don't even think the boys have had one. It's just _some_ people are real grinches!" She said the last part loudly, so everyone nearby could hear.

"I heard that!" Mal growled as he exited the cargo bay with Zoe and Jayne.

Inara smiled warmly, knowing the children were just a rather excellent excuse for the mechanic to celebrate. "I think that's a wonderful idea."

"Really?" her eyes lit up like fire crackers. "Cause the Captain said you'd be against it just like him." Kaylee led her to the galley. "He said you wouldn't fancy it because of your beliefs."

"My Buddhism doesn't negate the fact that I think that some of the younger members of the crew deserve a traditional Christmas. It also shouldn't be used by Mal as an excuse to hide behind." Entering the galley, she saw Simon who was busy daisy chaining strips of colorful paper together for a garland. Mayday was in her playpen next to him, playing with a selection of toys. "I see you already have Simon hard at work."

"She most certainly does." The doctor said, looking up from him work. "There's only so much to do aboard the ship when everyone's healthy."

"How many are pro-Christmas?" Inara smiled as she neared the playpen.

Seventeen month-old May Washburn saw her Auntie Inara and crowed happily. "Nawa!" Grasping the netting of her playpen's walls, she pulled herself up to stand on her fat baby legs. Waiting eagerly, she talked all the while. She loved to talk, it was her favorite thing. "Nawa, nawa, nawa, nawa."

Gathering May up, she cooed at the giggling one year old. "Hi baby. You're getting awfully close to "Nara" now, aren't you?"

"Nawa." The baby babbled, ever the chatty one. She laughed heartily as her Auntie brought her up and gave her a face a smattering of kisses.

"You'll get there."

"No!" May laughed.

"That's her new favorite word." Simon explained with a smile. "Learned that one last week."

"I'm sure it's adorable until she's grouchy, right Mayday?" Inara asked the chubby toddler.

"Nooooooo."

"To answer your question, just about everyone except the Captain are in the pro-Christmas camp." Simon divulged. "Even Jayne's pro-Christmas. We had to tell him he doesn't have to buy anyone a gift, but he's _pro_-Christmas."

"We're just encouraging everyone to get gifts for the little ones, but it's optional." The mechanic chirped. "We wanna do a proper dinner though, with _real _meat, and maybe get a tree so we can put the kids presents under it."

"So Mayday, William, Warren and River?" Inara guessed, carefully extracting a fistful of hair from May.

May jabbered happily, as if she were apart of the conversation.

"That's the plan." Simon said, squeezing a precise amount of glue onto a strip of Kaylee's craft paper.

"Is that because Kaylee already bought them gifts?"

Kaylee made eye contact with Inara, and smiled guiltily. "No." She lied shakily, tilting her head down. "A' course not."

"I have a sock drawer that has no room for socks." The doctor implied heavily.

* * *

TRANSLATION:

Dàgē: Big Brother

* * *

**A/N:** Reviews are always welcome.


	2. Apples

"You want _what_?" Eddie's foreman, Lloyd, was an enormous man. Well dressed yet imposing, he arched a dark brow and cautiously held back the stack of bills he was supposed to hand the Captain of the Firefly. They were standing near the ship; his men loaded cases of Shinon champagne onto a truck, and beautiful women into town crafts.

Mal shifted his weight and pulled his coat collar up to ward off the cold. Antilles was in it's early spring. The land was prone to freezing at night and thawing by noon and it was cold enough in the morning to catch a chill. He glanced over to Zoe, who was watching Lloyd's men carefully. "Just let me talk to Eddie about it."

"Mr. Wen is very busy with his holiday preparations." Lloyd extended the cash. He eyed Zoe.

"What." She snapped tersely.

"Nothing." He began to pull out a set of packages from his coat "I just have somethi-"

"Return it." The first mate told him quickly, as if she were yanking off a bandage.

"I can't." He said, thrusting the packages towards her.

Mal was briefly distracted by Jayne sadly waving at Sue-Ann as her hover town car sped off and he promised to visit her. "Too busy for even a shot of whiskey and a five minute talk about a bonus on account of us delivering on time?" He swiped the money before Lloyd could pull it away, then eyed the curious stand-off.

"He has a very busy schedule that _I_ am trying to keep him on." The giant emphasized, forcing the packages on the clearly pissed soldier before reaching into his thick wool dress coat. "He does have another job for you." Lloyd held out an envelope. "And it's double the pay."

"Why's it double?" The Captain ran his thumb across the bills.

"It needs to be here by Christmas day." he wagged the envelope in front of the Captain temptingly.

The Captain raised a brow. "That's five days."

"Just from Salisbury."

"That's full burn_ if_ we leave now." Mal told him.

"Then perhaps you should be on your way." Llyod rumbled, the Antilles wind whipping the black hair of his ponytail over his shoulders as he genteelly scratched his well trimmed beard.

Putting his hands on his hips, Mal exhaled deeply. He had a boat full of people who needed their food stores restocked, but that boat full was also bleating and pleading a real Christmas. He did the math on what they had left supply wise, then began on the fuel. "Zo-".

Zoe stepped back with him and leaned in. "We haven't even started re-fueling."

"We got enough to hit Salisbury."

"Food-"

"Leftovers and emergency packs till we land. Grab somethin' before we turn back."

"Water's low too?"

"We don't… shower as much?"

Zoe looked at him skeptically. "It's risky, and you're gonna have a boat full of surly folk. But," She pursed her lips for a moment. "We could use that coin."

Mal pulled away from Zoe and back to Llyod. "If I take this job, I'm wavin' Eddie tonight and talking to him."

"I suppose can fit a quick conversation into his schedule tonight." The foreman looked the Captain over, the unsureness in his eyes. "Your crew doesn't want double their usual take? I'm surprised." As the first mate began to push the packages back out, he held his palm out at her. "They're yours. Orders."

"I'm going to throw them away." She threatened.

"Fine by me." He dismissed. "Are you going to take the job or not?"

* * *

"Hey Xiǎodì." Simon called out as Will struggled to reach the counter. He had been working on Kaylee's project as Will had trampled off to the helm to help River, then skittered off to the engine room to see what his brother and Kaylee were up to, only to return when the case of apples had shown up.

"Ah." May said as her uncle Simon locked the tray of her high chair in place. She watched him intensely as he laid little, May-sized apple slices on her tray. "Num, num."

"Yes." Simon encouraged. Keeping one eye on the struggling boy and another on the toddler, he took a bite of a piece, then handed the other half to May. "Mmm, here."

"Hey Simon." He said, hopping and grabbing onto the counter in an attempt to pull himself up. Standing up on his tip toes, his too short shirt rode up on his well-fed belly.

She immediately copied the doctor, gnawing awkwardly on the piece of fruit. "Mmm."

"Here, let me help." The Doctor left the baby, scooped him up by the armpits and helped him turn on the faucet. "Quite the paunch you've got there. Been growing?"

"Knees hurt." He replied, carefully washing his hands. "Inara says I'm gettin' big and strong."

"That you are." It had been nearly a year with the Reynolds boys on board, and they had both grown like someone had put something in the water. He hoped Mal was going to buy them new clothes for Christmas, because at this point both were looking raggedy.

"She likes to kiss my tum. Says it's biāozhì."

"I don't doubt that for a second." If there was anyone that could turn her from a elegant, poised Companion to a playful tummy kisser, it was Will. Simon shut off the faucet and sat him on the counter, handing him a dish towel. "You do your rounds?"

"You're last." Will said, grabbing the doctor by the shirt with his still damp hands and pulling him over to hug his middle.

Simon chuckled, hugging back. "Well that's because you save the best for last." He dropped a kiss to the boy's head. Between all of them the children were never starved for affection nor far from a watchful eye.

"Simon?"

"Hm?"

"Can I have an apple?"

"Where do you put it all?" The doctor teased, grabbing the basket of apples Inara had brought in not too long ago and letting the boy choose.

"Don't you know? His belly's gotta hole in it." Kaylee giggled as she bounced in, wiping her hands on her stained coveralls before going to wash them more thoroughly. "Oo, those Inara's apples?"

"Does not." Will ran his hands over the apples before grabbing the one he thought was the biggest. "Xièxiè, Simon." He chirped before taking a bite.

"There's no hole." He tugged the shirt. "Or else this wouldn't be so tight now would it?" Looking his little friend over to make sure William was healthy, the doctor absently wiped a bit of apple off of the child's cheek. "You doin' okay?"

"My knees hurt at night 'cause I'm growing. You?" He held his apple up to Simon's mouth.

Simon chuckled. "I'm doing well, thank you. Wanna help me make paper chains for Kaylee's Christmas?" He took a bite of the offering. Fresh fruit was such a luxury on Serenity that everyone was eager to have it as well as share.

He nodded his head eagerly, giggling as his unofficial uncle hoisted him up and took him to the table.

"He doesn't fit in that shirt anymore." Warren said. Lumbering in without a shirt on and a pair of Wash's coveralls tied to his waist, he went and snatched and apple.

Simon looked Mal's eighteen year old over while William set to cutting out strips of paper. While he didn't have a paunch, his skinny frame had stretched and filled out into a broad-shoulder, brawny figure. The burly gentle giant took an apple, bit it, and grabbed another.

"Not the only one." Kaylee said what Simon was thinking, punching Warren in the shoulder as she grabbed herself and apple.

"Whaaat?" He whined, flinching back at the tiny woman's fists as if she were truly a threat to his existence.

"You keep double fisting all our fresh fruit there ain't gonna be none left!"

"I lift heavy things for you, I get hungry." He pouted playfully to his engine room boss, taking another bite. "Didmf yu here Si-mun?" He said whilst chewing. "Ihm uh grofing boyhm-"

"Warren." Inara admonished.

Simon gazed at Inara as she breezed in, then Warren, and smiled in amusement.

"He's in trouble." Will whisper-giggled to Simon.

He swallowed the mouthful of apple and looked at her bashfully. A little boy being scolded, despite being far from little. "Sorry, Inara."

"I expect better from you, Dàgē." She said, struggling to get the last clean cup off of the top cabinet. "Does all it take is three weeks to unravel all your manners?"

Warren sidled up to her, reached up and effortlessly retrieved the cup. Looking down at the Companion, he flashed an apologetic smile.

Inara looked up at the stinky, greasy mechanic she suddenly realized just how big he had gotten as he loomed over her. When he had first come on board, he had just been a tad taller, maybe half an inch. Six inches was what Simon had told her. Six inches and still growing.

"Here." He handed her the cup and bent to press a kiss to her temple. Except Inara took the moment to kiss his cheek and tousle his hair.

"I should just make you follow me around and reach things I can't." She teased the boy.

"Hey, get your own." Kaylee piped semi-seriously. "He's taken."

Warren gathered the Companion up into a hug. "Maybe in a few years you'll get lucky with Xiǎodì." He smooched her cheek.

"Perhaps." She patted a big arm. "You miss me?"

"Yep. Next time don't be gone for three weeks. He gets stir-crazy." The boy told her. Letting her go, he backed up against the counter to resume eating his apples.

"So did you traipse around the ship with your shirt off while the women were on board the whole time?" She asked curiously, far more amused by his posturing than concerned.

"Hm?" He swallowed a mouthful as the mechanic and the doctor chuckled. Blushing, he slouched and quit making eye contact with her. "Oh no."

"You don't sound entirely sure."

"He's a big show off." River announced as she slipped in from the helm to grab an apple, her coveralls tied to her waist as she wore a loose top. "All his flexing, luggage lifting."

Warren blushed, shooting her a dirty look.

"Don't worry, didn't have sex. He's just a baby, even they saw that."

"River-" Inara and Simon both began chiding her at the same time.

Carefully setting his fresh fruit onto the counter, Warren lunged and River bolted with a wicked laugh. They went tearing off out of the galley.

"I'm gonna kill you!" Warren could be heard from the cargo bay.

"Tài mànle, xuànyào!" River yelped teasingly.

"Well they'll sort that out themselves." Simon resigned, having been a referee far too many times to count.

"She's the only one that gets him so surly." Kaylee shook her head. "I swear, he's the sweetest thing. Won't even think about hurting a fly. Then River comes in and they're battlin' like it's the end-times."

"She pushes buttons." the doctor sighed, looking down at his partner in crafting. "She's a brat."

"Big one." William giggled in agreement.

"Don't ever be a brat." He told the littlest Reynolds. "No matter what she tells you."

"Never ever."

There was a thump down below, followed by a playful squeal from River, a yelp from Warren, and a series of thuds.

Simon and Inara looked at each other exasperatedly.

"Good thing we're planet side." Inara did her best to ignore the rumpus. There was no use in trying to get the two to settle. Once River had gotten riled up, it was better to let her and whoever else was involved wear themselves out. Thankfully William wasn't in the thick of it because there were always bruised knees and elbows when the bigger children were a tad too rough with him. "There's hardly anything left to eat."

"It's not the only thing we're low on." Simon told her.

"Yeah and I sure could use a trip to the scrap yard." Kaylee sighed. "I gotta thermal dri-"

"HEY!" Mal's voice boomed from the cargo bay. "Why are you two fighting?!"

The rough housing stopped.

"You! Git to the helm! And you! Nín zài jīfáng de pìgu!" Mal's boots clacked hurriedly up the stairs. Seeing everyone in the galley, he frowned as he charged in. "Why're ya'll lolly gaggin?"

"Inara brought a case'a apples." Kaylee told him sweetly, her smile fading when she saw the urgency in his eyes. "What's wrong?"

"Lloyd give us trouble?" Inara quizzed.

"Nope, but we gotta go. _Now." _

The group stared at him.

"Are you serious?" Simon asked as they shifted.

"You just docked." Inara reminded him.

"And we gotta go." Zoe said as she entered and promptly tossed a pair of packages in the trash can.

Kaylee looked at the parcels curiously.

"_Don't_." She warned, startling Kaylee with her surliness.

"Go to the engine room, prep us for Salisbury immediately." Mal told the mechanic urgently. "Got a new job, folks. Double the pay, half the time. Let's go." He looked down and found May in her high chair next to him.

Her little brow furrowed and she held up a piece of apple to him. Hoping it would cheer him up.

* * *

Xiǎodì: Little Brother

Biāozhì: Handsome

Xièxiè: thank you

Dàgē: Big brother

Tài mànle, xuànyào!: Too slow, show off!

Nín zài jīfáng de pìgu!: Your butt in the engine room!


	3. Smooth

"We don't have a lot of supplies." Simon told Mal as Serenity roared through the atmosphere. Swiftly they left Antilles and all of Highgate behind, headed to Salisbury. The group clustered on the helm, watching their leader and trying to understand the decision. "Honestly, we're close to not have _any _supplies." His brow was furrowed with worry as he folded his arms across his chest.

"I know, things are gonna be a little tight till we touch down again." Mal reassured the doctor. Resting his hand on the console, his fingers played against the chipped paint. "If we pull this off though this is double the pay. Seem to recall a desire for a half-decent Christmas."

"And we can pull it off?" Inara asked as judiciously as possible.

Mal nodded. "If River goes full burn from here on out and things go smooth."

"Things just gotta go smooth." Zoe's sigh betrayed her.

"Hell as long as I don't gotta spend my cut on none of ya, I'm down." Jayne said, ignoring all of the looks he was the recipient of and turning around and lumbering out.

"We're running low on the basics in the infirmary." Simon announced. "I can get by, but if anyone gets shot my patchwork is going to be very crude and no one's going to be sedated."

"So we don't get shot." The Captain slipped his thumbs through his suspenders.

The silence that rang through the helm was deafening. As Serenity lurched through the last bit of atmosphere and hit the black, a pin could have been heard. Instead it was the sound of River's fingers clacking on keys and flipping switches.

Inara looked at him as if he announced he was going to try to jump over a moon. They all balked in fact, or tried not to.

Mal squirmed a bit from all of the attention. "What?"

Simon pursed his lips skeptically and clasped his hands together. "I'm gonna watch the kids."

"Ya'll don't think we can do this?" Mal looked to Zoe as the doctor made a hasty retreat.

"I'm… gonna go watch May." She backed away slowly.

"Simon's watchin' May."

"And I'll help him with that watchin'."

Inara gave Zoe some well executed side-eye for at being abandoned and stranded without backup.

"How come no one thinks we can do this without getting shot?" He whinged somewhat offended.

"Because the offering of double our usual pay suggests added risk." River responded succinctly as she hit the com to the engine room. "Kaylee, the gyros are running warm."

_"Yeah, remember those thermal drivers I talked about needing once we docked?"_

Mal scowled. "Well…" He turned to Inara. "So glad to see everyone's so optimistic with my ability to conduct business. You know I-"

Reaching into her robe Inara took out a roll of cash. She held it out to him.

Staring at the offering rocking in the delicate palm, the Captain stopped his yammering. "Why Darlin', surely my time with you is worth more. I'm a bit offended."

Inara narrowed her eyes, pinching the cash between her thumb and index finger. "Let's not get started with what you're worth."

Mal frowned.

She smiled cheekily.

He plucked it from her fingertips. "Xièxiè nǐ, qīn'ài de." He said with a hit of sarcasm. Though it was true; Inara's contributions to the ship helped greatly, to the point where her funds helped keep them fed when jobs were lean.

"It's less than last time." She warned. "I took out some for presents for the boys and that first week of the month I was out in the black with you and couldn't work."

"They need more stuff?"

"I got them clothes and a few small things." She said, a bit eager at the prospect of giving the boys presents. "I thought you could get them the big ticket item."

"They need more stuff than the stuff you got them?" Mal griped.

"Didn't you ever have Christmas when you were little? Where people gave you things wrapped in paper?"

He sighed, his shoulders heaving at the burden. There was an image of his money in his mind. It was being lit on fire and scattered to the wind in the flurry of ash.

Inara arched a brow. "You _were _a child, right?"

"You're Buddhist!" He snapped.

"It's not about religion. It's about the principal and what the tradition symbolizes!"

"You don't believe in old traditions!"

"I don't believe in ones that are antiquated and have no use within society." She slipped her hands to her hips and stared him down.

Mal stepped in, titling his head to the side as they were both fit for a good argument."And spending all of our hard earned money on a night of frivolous gifts and indulgent food has use?!"

"It's about bringing family together. Even _I've_ participated in Christmas, Mal." She refuted. They began to circle each other a bit. She slid to the console as he pushed towards the door. "You're just being a spoil sport because we want to reward ourselves and the children with something nice-"

"When we don't exactly have the money to fritter away." He cut her off.

"You're a spoil sport." River agreed. "Stingy. You'd rather run this job and pocket the profits."

Mal shifted uncomfortably. "Because it's the smart thing to do. It'm just being reasonable!"

There was a moment where Inara opened her mouth to raise her voice again and scoff at him being reasonable. However she caught herself, realizing that she had just gotten home and didn't have the energy nor need to go toe to toe with her partner.

The lack of a rebuttal being volleyed at him confused Mal. "_Well?_" He prompted.

Taking a deep breath to steady herself, Inara patted his arm as she walked past him. "Just _one_ present. And you don't even have to get me one."

Turning, he watched her leave. The lack of material to work with, to keep him angry, left him adrift.

"You need to get her one." River announced.

"Thanks, Miss Obvious." Mal snapped as he slumped into the co-pilot's chair. Sitting, he settled down. "You set up a message time with Eddie?"

"Four hours." She told him.

Suddenly her head whipped to the screens. Before Mal could ask what was the matter, and system beeped and shrieked.

"What the-"

* * *

_"This is the Captain speaking-"_ Mal's voice boomed over the com system. It was vexed and gruff. _"We have been hailed by an Alliance aircraft.-"_

Kaylee and Warren looked up from the engine.

"Mǔ quǎn dì nàxiē yúchǔn de é tā mā de érzi!" Kaylee complained as she tossed a wrench into a toolbox.

"Hell." The boy whined.

* * *

_"They're boarding for a mandatory surprise inspection.-"_

"Awwww." William pouted, shoving the Christmas decorations across the table.

"Sonuva-." Simon growled in exasperation as he handed May over to Zoe.

"You better go get ready." She sighed as she put the baby on her hip.

"Will, come on." Inara said hurriedly with just the hint of annoyance towards the law.

* * *

_"So, you know- cover everything up."_

Jayne dropped the blanket over his wall of guns.

* * *

_"get ready to get questioned,-"_

River carefully put in her contact lenses.

* * *

_"and head to the cargo bay."_

Simon checked his own eyes.

"You got your fakes in?" Kaylee asked as she stopped into the room and opened a box.

"Yep." Turning, he came over to her. "Took yours out, they're on the counter.

"Xièxiè." Kaylee sighed, annoyed by the time they were losing as she handed him his papers. "Mr. Sung."

"Xièxiè, Mrs. Sung."

* * *

TRANSLATIONS

Mǔ quǎn dì nàxiē yúchǔn de é tā mā de érzi! Those stupid goose fucking sons of bitches!

Xièxiè: thank you

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**A/N: **Next chapter "One Big Happy Family". Questions? Comments? Reviews are always welcome.


	4. One Big Happy Family

"We just broke atmo." Kaylee griped as she stood next to Simon whilst the others trickled in.

"Really cracking down on holiday smuggling." River grumbled petulantly. Settling next to Simon, she watched the door as if what was to come through was more of a major annoyance than an enormous threat.

"No guns, right?" He asked her.

"Knife in my boot." River replied.

"How reassuring." He sighed.

"I was gonna wave my ma." Jayne growled as he lumbered in, pulling a cigar out of his pocket. "I'd like to say Merry Christmas to my kin before I get locked up, again."

"We're not getting locked up, Jayne." Kaylee reassured as Inara entered with the boys. "It's just an inspection."

"Well hopefully they don't look at the serial numbers on my guns." He noted.

"Even _more_ reassuring." Simon told to no one in particular.

"Remember we're Serras." Inara told the boys, holding a stack of paperwork that included her guild registry and their false identification cards. She positioned them near Simon's family

"William Serra." Will recited laconically as she combed his hair out of his face. He wasn't allowed to tell anyone his name was Reynolds off ship. The stigma that came with it was high as his father was fairly infamous. There were also plenty of unsavory folk in the 'verse who would hurt a child to get back at Malcolm Reynolds. Inara's name however carried benefits.

"I know, it's not our first rodeo, _Mom_." Warren told her, standing still as he was being looked over.

"You nearly slipped up last time you were questioned." She told him, frowning as he barley fit into his one good shirt and pants. "I had to tell them your middle name was Reynard."

Catching her frustration, Warren's face pulled into a lopsided grin. "He said he'll buy us new clothes when we stop growing."

She carefully removed a smudge of engine grease from his jawline he had missed when he had washed up. "If we waited for you to stop growing you'd look homeless."

"Already do. Hey, am I getting clothes for Christmas? Is that what you got me?"

"Excuse me? I didn't get you anything." Inara feigned confusion, a sliver of playfulness showing regardless of how stressful the situation was.

"Shuōhuǎng zhě."

"One big happy family." Mal told the group as he stormed in.

"Yeah." Jayne snickered as he chewed on his cigar. "Sure. And I'm-" He looked at his fake I.D. "Leland Joseph McCallister."

Will whined as he held onto Inara's skirts and leaned against her. "This is stupid."

"I know." She agreed, putting her hand on his shoulder. "Just don't say that when they're here."

"There's an awful lot of things we're not supposed to say." Warren quipped. He placed himself behind Inara. Subconsciously watching over her and his little brother, despite the fact that he was being denied presents.

The boots were near the door. "Okay, roll call." Mal told the group. "Sung family?"

Simon slipped his hand into Kaylee's and gave it a squeeze. River yawned. "Present."

"Serras?"

"Ready." Inara announced, reaching up and patting Warren's hand on her shoulder.

"You totally got me clothes."

Inara pushed her elbow back into the big teen's ribs.

"Mr. McCallister?"

"Father McCallister." Jayne corrected through his cigar. "Do the Lord's work."

Simon rolled his eyes.

"Be nice." Kaylee warned him.

"Alverez, baby Alverez?"

"We're here." Zoe told him. Stoically waiting with May on her hip, her eyes slid to the door. The boots were right behind it.

"Idiots." River grunted as the handle turned.

The officer came in, surveying the group huddled together across the way. He neared, eyeing the man in the suspenders who stepped forward to meet him. "I am Sergeant Anderson with the ship Roosevelt. I am hear to conduct an inspection of this vessel, I assume you're the Captain of this vessel?"

"I am." Mal said tensely. Without prompting, he held out his paperwork. The fake paperwork as the real ones were under a floor grate.

He arched a brow as he gestured for his men to spread out and search the boat. "Is there something I need to know, Captain?"

"We're just running on a very tight schedule." He smiled tightly.

"Is this everyone?"

"Except for a gecko, but we're not to sure where he is." He turned to the men heading in to search his boat. "Hey! If you see a gecko, could you catch it?"

Inara rolled her eyes. She wasn't particularly fond of the overly friendly character Mal preferred to play when they were boarded.

"Is this boy yours?" An officer asked Inara, eyeing William.

William struggled with containing his disdain for the soldier.

"Both are." She lied.

"How old is your oldest?"

"Eighteen." Warren piped up.

"Do you understand that due to the Educational Act of 2509 any child between the ages of five and sixteen must have proof of registration at an Alliance sanctioned school?" He recited rather in a rote fashion.

Inara extended the paperwork. "I'm registered with the Companion's Guild. My son attends the Guild primary school on Highgate at House Tianshui."

He raised his brows.

"That's all of our paperwork. All three of us."

"Mr. Theodore Sung, will you submit to an eye scan?" Another officer asked Simon.

Simon pursed his lips. "Certainly, officer."

The leader of the team raised a brow to what he was reading. "Your manifest lists no cargo, Captain" he studied the identification card "Sirus Everett."

Mal turned back around to face the Sergeant, distracted by the other officers harassing his crew. "That's because we're on our way to pick up cargo on St. Albans. Have a white Christmas."

Anderson looked up from the paperwork skeptically. "You aren't carrying _any_ unlisted cargo?"

"Are you insinuating we're smugglers?" The Captain asked innocently.

"Ugh." Simon blinked as the scanner pulled away from his eyes.

"And what is your position on this crew?"

"Medic."

Sergeant Anderson smiled tightly. "As we all know these older ships can often misplace cargo, paperwork disappears."

"I can assure you no such thing has happened on my boat. We got kids on this ship. Who would ever bring children into a life of crime?" He asked incredulously.

Zoe's mouth twitched, she had to suppress her smirk.

"You'd be surprised." He sighed.

* * *

"Do they have to search the entire ship?" Kaylee asked Simon wearily. "Been near forty-five minutes."

"They're certainly being thorough." He mumbled, his nerves frayed.

Will yawned, leaning against Inara.

"Xiǎodì could you please not do that?" Inara grimaced.

"Come here, Xiǎodì I gotcha." Warren scooped his tired sibling up and put him on his hip. Small legs wrapped around his waist as arms went about his neck.

"I'm tired of waiting." He pouted, resting his head on a broad shoulder. "They need to go."

The soldier running their information arched a brow at the little boy.

"You okay, Mom?" The eldest asked, noticing her ache.

"I'm fine, Dàgē." She reassured, planting her hands on her lower back and stretching a bit to try to relieve the discomfort. "It's just hard to stand this long." Reaching up, she rubbed Will's back soothingly.

Mal looked back at his anxious, uncomfortable crew. The stop was at the point where he was beginning to fear they were going to have to resort to violence and make a messy escape. "Sir, while I understand you're just trying to do your job, do we not check out?"

Anderson drew his lips together.

"This just seems like a longer than normal check is all."

"Captain Everett, there are only a handful of Fireflies still in operation. One of which has a wanted crew. I'm sorry but when we search a Firefly we have to now be extremely thorough." He explained peevishly. "And being so far out on the Rim, we have to to work with what we can in order to verify a ship."

"What ever is this crew wanted for, if I may ask?" Mal said, aghast at such behavior some people in the 'verse carried out upon society. "They must be awful people."

"A litany of things, just look up Malcolm Rey-" He stopped as an underling approached and his team began to return from the inner workings of the boat. Some headed towards him, others went to the crew. "Yes?"

"Sir, we're running the AIN right now but everything else checks out ship-wise." He reported. "Feng and the others need to finish follow-up questions with some of the crew, but other than that we're done."

Kaylee overhearing the announcement, exchanged a nervous glance with River.

Warren licked his lips and did his best to stand still behind Inara.

"Looks like we're nearly finished here. Now where were you headed again Captain Everett?" Anderson double-checked.

"St. Albans. Give the Little Ones a proper Christmas."

"No!" May squawked, scowling at the man getting too close to her mother for her liking. This wasn't her first inspection, but it certainly was the longest. She buried her face into Zoe's shoulder, her eyes filling up with big wet tears. "Nooooo."

"Father McCallister, your bunk was the third down. Could you tell us how many guns do you have registered to you?" One soldier with a clipboard asked Jayne.

The mercenary folded his arms across his chest. His muscles tensed and bulged.

"William Serra?" The officer looking over Inara's paperwork glanced up finally and studied the boy. He then looked over to the Captain his superior officer was talking to.

"What's wrong?" Inara asked.

"Your registry checks out. However you have no listed father on his papers or the other one's, nor partner on your Guild paperwork. And yet-" He looked from the boy, to the man he was a spitting image of.

Inara's eyes narrowed.

"William Serra, Warren Serra will you submit to an eye scan?" He asked.

Warren held his little brother just a bit more tightly. He and William were the only two other than May that didn't have contacts to pass an eye scan.

"Excuse me?" The Companion spoke up before the boy could, drawing attention to herself. She put herself even more in front of Mal's boys, her stance growing aggressive. "You have no right to scan a minor."

"M'am-" He sputtered nervously. Swallowing thickly, his eyes fell and he suddenly noticed the round mound nearly concealed by the woman's high waisted dress. It only made his nerves worsen.

Inara caught it and smoothed her hand across her swollen belly, drawing more attention to something she tended to not broadcast. However she was tired, her feet ached, and she was going to put a stop to the soldier going after her boys. "And quite frankly as a _Companion_ I find this treatment of my children and the questioning of their paternal biology _extremely_ offensive." She cut him off sharply. "Of all the people to have a backwards notion that children take two people to raise, I would have not have guessed it would come from an officer."

Mal quirked a brow. A Companion could make any man in the 'verse nervous. The same went for a woman with child. His partner was currently double threat.

"Oh no M'am I did thi-"

"What's your badge number? I want to speak to your superior-"

"Madam." The Sergeant came in and rescued his flop-sweating officer. "I'm sure that what he said was simply misconstrued."

"I don't like being harassed." Inara said, extremely upset yet dignified. "Sergeant Anderson. I hope this little ship check of yours isn't representative of your ship. The Guild frowns upon ill-run ships. "

"And I apologize." He said swiftly. Anxiety began creeping up on Anderson as the last thing he needed was the Guild banning his ship's crew from conducting business while on leave. No one would ever want to be stationed on the Roosevelt, it would become a form of punishment. Looking around, he gestured to his team. "Alright, let's go."

"But sir, the AIN."

"We're going." He pressed, walking back over to Mal, he handed him back his papers. "You check out."

"Thank you."

Anderson looked around once more, eyeing the crew, then catching the glare of the Companion. It was the final threat he needed to made a hasty retreat.

When the door shut, everyone relaxed.

"Well that was a gorram joy." Jayne growled. "I'm gonna getta drink, see how they xìngjiāo my room."

"River, get us the hell out of here." Mal barked as he went over to Inara. "Zhǐshì làngfèi shí jiàn qīnwěn nàgè nánrén de pìgu yīgè jùdà de shù'é."

River nodded and quickly left.

"Inara just smoked 'em." Kaylee chuckled.

"Hell hath no fury." Zoe said, impressed her own self.

"That was a good thing too, 'cause I don't know if those fake AINs we put on Serenity would pass." The mechanic confessed.

"Bǎobèi, you okay?" Mal asked, slipping an arm around her.

"I just need to relax." Inara reassured as Simon instinctively headed over to investigate. Stepping into Mal, his hand came put to her cheek and she turned into it. Pressing a kiss to his palm, she wrapped her arms around him and sighed. "I'm fine, Simon."

"Just tired." The Captain added as he felt the weight of her lean on him. He wrapped her up and couldn't help but feel weary his own self. "No need to hover."

"I get paid to hover, but alright." He replied. "Let me know if you need anything."

From the warmth and comfort of Mal's arms, Inara smiled at the two who were watching her. "I'm fine, boys."

"Xiǎo mèimei's earning her keep already." Warren told her with a chuckle. "The look on his face-"

"It was a good one." She agreed.

Will giggled from his brother's arms. "You made them so scared."

"You make a good reason to scare off officers." Inara smiled back. Moving away from Mal, she kissed Will's nose and was the recipeint of a nuzzle in return. "Both of you."

Mal watched Inara with the boys and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Come on, you can cuddle them while you put your feet up."

* * *

Shuōhuǎng zhě: Liar

Xiǎodì: Little brother

Dàgē: Big brother

Xìngjiāo: fucked up

Zhǐshì làngfèi shí jiàn qīnwěn nàgè nánrén de pìgu yīgè jùdà de shù'é.: Just wasted an enormous amount of time kissing that man's ass.

Bǎobèi: Darling, baby

Xiǎo mèimei: little sister

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**A/N: **Next up is "Eddie". Questions, comments? Reviews are always welcome.


	5. Eddie

Jayne came lumbering into the common room, chewing on an apple. He stopped when he saw the group there, cutting colorful bits of craft and magazine paper to make decorations. Kaylee's music cube had Christmas music playing, Simon was hanging paper chains and Warren was on the floor playing with May.

"Mayday! Mayday! We're going down!" He dipped the toddler and crashed her into his chest.

May exploded into a stream of laughter as her cousin tickled her.

"You sure you don't want to get in on this, Xiǎodì?" Warren asked as he carefully tumbled on his back with May and faux-wrestled with her. Fat little hands smooshed and rearranged his face as he played with her stubby braids.

"No thanks, I like making snowflakes." Will told him. He furrowed his brow, carefully applying glitter. "River would really like making snowflakes."

"Why don't you go see if she can come down?" Inara suggested.

Zoe chuckled as she watched her daughter babble and squeal while clambering all over big gentle Warren.

"Hey Jayne." Kaylee piped up from her spot next to Inara. "You wanna join in?" They had invited him, but he had skulked off.

Jayne looked at the cutesy scene as Will slid past him to head upstairs. All the glitter and adorable children. Simon and Kaylee were the kid people. They kept to the ship during jobs and thus had become baby sitters. The little ones ran to them if their parents or even the other children weren't around. Nobody ran to big, scary Jayne, and he liked that.

Simon turned to Jayne who was staring at Warren and May as if they were a pair of raccoons who had gotten loose. "Jayne, could you help me hang this garland?"

The merc looked over, and finally felt he had a use within the group of softies. "Yeah." He grabbed the other end of the garland and held it up. Seeing small flecks on the paper, he grunted. "Hey, what are these little black spots?"

"Oh, yeah." Kaylee shrugged. "I got the paper real cheap because it had a little bug infestation. Don't hurt anything though, just looks funny."

"Bugs." Jayne mumbled as he tried to hand the garland evenly.

* * *

"Sorry, ran out of bugs." River said as she carefully ran a finger across her scaly co-pilot's green back.

The gecko finished the little bit of protein she had placed on Serenity's console. Skittering over towards the bottle cap his friend had secured to the console with a piece of gum as a water dish, the lizard took a mouthful of water.

"I know, tastes bad." She agreed, watching the reptile take a dip in the water and rush out with a spray of droplets. "It's nice though, everyone is home. Mother's home, which makes him happy, my Xiǎodì's home, makes me happy." Petting the gecko, she watched it make it's way to a spot on the console's wall were a lamp's light hit it just so. "And now we celebrate the commercialization of the birth of a Jewish carpenter. Simon got me art supplies." River's eyes narrowed, studying her companion carefully. "May I draw your portrait?"

The gecko rested it's chin on the warm surface and blinked slowly.

"I'll make you look stately." She reassured.

Little boots came clanging down the hall and up the steps.

The reader looked from the door, back to the console. Her friend had already disappeared.

"Who were you talking to, Mèimei?" Will asked as he tromped in.

"Hoban. He's very bashful." River furrowed her brows, looking at the parcels he was carrying. "Where'd you get those?"

William was confused as to whom Hoban was, but she often talked to things and people he didn't necessarily see or understand. Gazing down at the packages, he lifted them up to her. "I found them in the garbage."

The pilot tilted her head at him, long dark tendrils of hair spilling into her face. "You watched her put them in there."

He blushed and broke off eye contact. "Well yeah…" His voice trailed off guiltily.

"Her choice." River said.

Scuffing his shoe on the floor, William jutted his lower lip out. "But they're really nice, paper's fancy." He ran a hand across the glittery paper. "They've gotta be nice gifts. Who wraps bad gifts in good paper?"

"Her choice to get rid of them."

His eyes narrowed. "One's got Mayday's name on it too."

River took May's gift in her hand. She shook it gently, hearing a soft rattle. "From Eddie." She announced succinctly. "It's plush."

Will's eyes widened. A look of disgust crossed his features at disposing of the gifts. "But Eddie gives great gifts." His voice explained how much of a tragedy it was to him. "He gave me a big toy ship and a bag of candy…" His sweet little brow furrowed. "Then Inara punched him."

A smile tugged on the corners of the pilot's lips.

"Well Zoe shouldn't throw them away, they gotta be good." The little boy said in earnest. "Mayday should get to open hers at least."

"Maybe." River shrugged. She knew what he was going to say next. However she preferred hearing him.

"Hey River?"

"Hm?"

Will took the parcel from her and walked over to the lockers. "You wanna come down to the common room?" Opening a locker he carefully hid the gifts behind some spare console parts so Zoe couldn't throw them away. "We're making decorations for Christmas." William explained. "Inara's down there, and Kaylee and Simon and May and Warren. We even got Jayne to come down and help." closing the locker, he scampered back over and climbed into her lap. "You should come."

River hugged her little brother and ruffled his floppy sandy brown hair. "I _do_ love glitter." She admitted. "Need to take a call though. This one." Suddenly the wave console chimed, and River reached over and hit the com. "Malcolm Reynolds to the helm, Malcolm Reynolds to the helm."

The sound of the Captain passing through the galley and having to out-maneuver Kaylee who was trying to get him to come down and decorate filled the air.

"Aw come on, Captain!" Kaylee asked sweetly.

"Maybe later." Mal dodged as he entered the helm. "River."

"I have Eddie." She tells him. "He's drunk."

"How sweet." He took a seat in the co-pilot's chair.

"Permission to go dip snowflakes in glitter?"

"Go on." He sighed, tousling Will's hair. As the pair left the bridge, he hit the video com and came face to face with a slightly disheveled, bleary eyed owner of Highgate's only exclusive steak house. The man who catered to the ulta-wealthy was in a suit with the tie missing, the front buttons of the shirt undone, and his silver hair was askew.

"Mal!" He beamed. "You are vision, a beauty like no other."

"Got your champagne, Handsome?" Mal asked, wandering over to a locker and pulling out a small flask.

"Water of the gods. I am in debt."

"Lies." The Captain said, sinking back into the chair as he unscrewed the cap and took a swill. "There is no debt, or else I woulda sic'd Jayne on Lloyd." He shrugged. "Then Zoe, after Jayne as bait slowed him down."

"Figure of speech. My crime treating you well?" He asked, taking a sip as a female voice came from beyond the visual range of the camera.

"Decent. Though I was wondering if I could ask a few questions."

"What ever do we need to talk about?" He sniffled, swiveling in his chair.

"First of all, this job." Mal took another sip. "All I got is some coordinates, a name, and the incentive to get it to you in double time."

"I need it by Christmas." he gestured. "It's the pièce de résistance for the house's Christmas menu. A fresh batch of Londinium 20 year single barrel and pork. The embargo's made it impossible to even get two fingers of scotch, much less a bottle."

"The pork?"

"The freshest range pork you can find. I'm going to do hams and essentially everything else wrapped in bacon. It'll be fantastic, carve them up on the spot."

"So I'm hauling ass so you can serve bacon and scotch at your club."

"Wars have been fought for far less." He noted, draining his glass and grabbing another bottle.

Mal suddenly saw Sue-Ann walk behind Eddie. His lips quirked. "While it's nice of you to throw this my way at double the pay, I'd like talk about gettin' a little extra."

Eddie's brow furrowed. "Whatever do you mean?"

"I mean it's the holidays, and I've always delivered your cargo on time. _Always._" He pressed, a little nervous to be asking for more. Eddie was one of his best contracts in his history of seedy contracts, and he didn't want to scare the amiable playboy away. "And I sure could use a little bit of somethin' extra to see us through Christmas. Have a boat of terribly hard workin' folk who wanna celebrate proper. Somethin' about kids needing a Christmas."

The entrepreneur exhaled deeply. He looked up and pondered the thought. "You certainly have been an asset. It would be rude of me to not send you a little something. How's about before you hand my boys over the goods, you take a bottle of the scotch and a whole pig's worth of meat? I can't promise it for the liquor, but the pork should last you well into the new year."

"You are as kind as you are purty." Mal said, toasting he screen.

Eddie toasted with him. "You need anything else?"

"Don't think so. Unless you want to serenade me like last time."

"I had a lot to drink last time."

"I know, you were very flattering in your use of descriptors."

Eddie paused, his fingers running along his champagne glass. His drunk, smooth face suddenly creased with worry, showing his age. "How's Zoe and May?"

Mal slouched as Eddie, who normally had all of the concern of a bear sitting in a truck full of pastries, looked genuinely wounded. He had hoped, nearly prayed, that this would be avoided. "Eddie, she punched you. _Again_."

"And I deserved it, again." He shifted at the sound of Sue-Ann in his bed.

"Listen, I ain't one to get in the middle of things."

"I was a cad. I _am_ a cad."

"I ain't your middle man. I mean… _I am_ but I'm not on this." Mal pressed. "Talk to her."

"Hell it's been two months and she hasn't returned my messages." He said weakly. "I'm just asking how she is."

A pain arose in Mal's temples. He pinched his sinuses for a moment and rubbed them as the ache radiated down behind his eyes. "She's fine, Eddie." He held his tongue about the rest, and reached for the button. "And you don't look so lonely. I'll return you to your company."

"Make sure May gets her gift?"

"Yeah." He said in the most non-committing tone possible. The screen turned off, and Mal leaned back in the chair. "You gotta talk to that sorrowful sum'bitch." He said as he swiveled his chair to look at Zoe who was leaning against the lockers. "His money keeps us in the air. And here he is pining-"

"While he sleeps with Sue-Ann? Who we just delivered to a cathouse?" Zoe said balked, trying to hide the residual pain that lingered from Eddie Wan.

"For the record, I was against the two of you from the start. Most turbulent match I've ever seen, and bad for business." The Captain told his first mate. "But noooo, you two found love or or a spark or some mǎ shǐ. Then it all fell ta pieces, and now I've got a man who wants to give me money yet is aching for a woman on my boat who don't want him."

"I'll talk to him." She finally spoke up. "Alright? I'll vid-chat him. But I ain't meeting him face to face."

"Because he'll woo you or because you'll skin him and wear his silver pelt?"

Zoe said nothing, but her eyes said it was a bit of both.

"You gotta tell him you're with someone else. At least so he don't get in his stupid little drunkard's brain of his he can win you back." Mal told her. "But y'know, _gently_."

"Never had you so involved in my love life, sir." Zoe said pointedly.

"You mixed your pleasure with our business." Mal eased back as he remembered the brief time Zoe and Eddie were together, and the good it did them both. Eddie was an alcoholic and a philanderer, but in his pursuit of Zoe had become less of the former and cut out all of the latter. He had almost turned into a sober, suave core-man. Almost. "You gotta tell him you're taken."

Zoe sighed. "We're not technically…" She sighed again, at a loss for words. "It's complicated."

"Since when did you get so complicated?" He whined "Wo de ma I liked it better when you kept your romances to the ship! At least I could keep them straight and they didn't affect business."

She threw a glare at him. "I'll talk to him, alright? Don't worry about my other bit of personal business, 'cause that one far and away does not affect you."

"Fair. But talk to that drunk idiot, because he pays me."

Zoe nodded as the screen chimed again.

Mal checked the origin of the feed. "House Tianshui, private feed." He looked at her knowingly. "Something tell me this isn't for Inara."

Zoe pursed her lips, moving in to take the call as he got up and left.

"You're just the belle of the gorram ball, ain't ya."

"Close the door on your way out, sir. Please." She said taking a seat and straightening her shoulder.

"Uh huh." As he shut the dorm he heard the video click on, and Zoe's voice suddenly get so sweet he thought she was talking to Wash all over again. He slipped into this bunk to go figure out money, as they were about to spend quite a bit of it. Pausing, he found Inara in the hallway. "Hey, you. Thought there was a party downstairs."

"Oh there is." She told him. "I could use a break though and Simon and Kaylee have a handle on everything."

Mal took a step in. "Still tired?"

"I am." She confessed. "I was going to lay down." Mal was quick the wrap her into his arms and press a kiss to her temple. In return she looked around him at the door to the helm. "She finally talking to him?"

"Oh no." Mal shook his head slowly as he brought his big hand up to rub the mound of baby. "I had to talk to him to tell I'm I ain't gonna talk to him about that. She got a call from _Tianshui_."

"Oh."

"A _private line_."

Inara's brows raised, a bemused smile played on her lips. "She _should_ talk to Eddie. Even he deserves that. However…" Her voice trailed off as she thought about it.

"Wondering what they're talking about?" He asked, entertained by her wandering mind.

"It's just nice to know they're both feeling the same way. When I'm at Tianshui I only hear one side."

"Not too sure how I feel about all these Companions infiltrating my crew." He feigned concern.

"Well you got one pregnant, so it's your fault." Inara told him accusingly, resting her hand atop his. "You started it."

Mal's face pulled into a lopsided smile. "Darlin', it takes two to make one of these." He soothingly ran his hand in a clockwise circle on the spot. "Speaking of, how is our wee she-pirate?"

"She's stronger." Inara reported, settling against him whilst enjoying his sweet ministrations. "I can really feel her move now. The other day she had the hiccups. It was so distracting while I was attempting to listen to one of my clients."

Mal chuckled in amazement. "Hiccups?"

"Hiccups."

"Poor little thing." He told the stomach sympathetically. "Didn't know you could get hiccups in there."

"She's acti-" The two stopped and turned.

Zoe stepped out of the helm. She had a stuporous smile, which faded as soon as she saw the Captain and the Companion standing there watching her. "I'm um… going to take this in my bunk." She said suspiciously. Narrowing her eyes, she studied the two. "Why are you lingering?"

"Ohhh." Mal friend like a deer caught in the headlights. "I uh- I was just- gonna-"

"I was going to take a nap." Inara recovered. "He was going to go down lay down me, but we got caught up talking."

"I am?" Mal bumbled.

"Remember how I suggested we could lay down?" She ran her hand up his arm, her eyes suggesting an awful lot more than just lying down. "Haven't had any time to ourselves since I got back."

Zoe's eyes slid from Inara, to the Captain and back. "Uh _huh_." Walking past them, she slipped down the ladder, keeping her eyes on them out of suspicion.

* * *

TRANSLATIONS:

Xiǎodì: little brother

Mèimei: sister

Mǎ shǐ: horse shit

Wo de ma: Mother of god

* * *

**A/N:** Might be a bit of a break between this one and the next few. Trying to wrap it by Christmas though... or New Years ar least.


	6. Gifts

"So are we leaving this bunk today?" Inara asked sleepy as she crawled back into bed and found a warm spot next to Mal. "Perhaps we should rejoin society."

"No." He kissed her neck and ran his hands down her nude body. "Hmm."

"We disappeared before dinner yesterday." She reminded.

"That's because we needed to catch up." Mal told her with a low, eager rumble. "And I think," he kissed her shoulder "we still got _lots_ of catchin' up."

With a deep, throaty laugh Inara rolled over and captured his lips with her own. "Ó, wǒ ài nǐ" Straddling him, Inara took his hands and pinned them above his head. "Malcolm?"

"Hmm?" He said, pulling her face downward for another kiss.

"What do you want for Christmas?" She breathed huskily.

"Darlin', you asked this twice last night."

"Because you keep avoiding it." She kissed.

Mal playfully ran his hands down her hips, squeezing her backside. "The gift that keeps on giving?" He suggested devilishly.

Inara laughed, her hand snaking down his body. "There's a horriblly uncouth joke about stuffing your stocking in there somewhere."

Laughing, he lost his breath and groaned when her hand slipped below his waist.

* * *

"Have they?-"

"Nope." Simon told Zoe as he drank his weak coffee and watched everyone at the table make faces at their breakfast. "I'd suspect they have a lot of catching up."

"Three weeks apart." Kaylee mused as came over and picked up a mug of the coffee. Playfully, she pecked Simon on the lips. "If we were apart for that long and were reunited? I'd lock you in the bedroom and tear off-"

"_Ahem_?" Simon cleared his throat and nodded in the direction of the table full of people.

Kaylee grimaced, being caught in the act. "Well I _would_." She purred, rubbing a hand down his thigh.

Reaching around he pinched Kaylee playfully before stealing a kiss. "And I'd let you, _gladly."_ He whispered with a grin.

"You would let her gladly what?" Mal asked as he came in and headed to the food stores.

"Nothing." Simon coughed out as Kaylee withdrew her hands. "You're uh, up earlier than expected."

"Yeah 'Nara's hungry, somethin' fierce." The Captain said as he opened up a food locker. "Been dispatched to scare up some breakfast."

"There's nothing to eat." Will griped from the table as he stabbed his spoon into the glob of foodstuffs undulating in his bowl.

"There's protein, coffee, tea, rice, and apples." Warren recited. "Protein's a week past recommended past date-"

"Smells like feet." Jayne added.

"But if you put some spices on it, it kinda tastes like garlic and pepper-" Kaylee offered.

"That you put on feet." Jayne finished.

"Rice and apples it is then." Mal sighed. "River? Report on our eta?"

"Late tonight." River told him. "Caught a break, Salisbury's orbit is lined up with Highgate. Readjusted our targeting, will shave near a day off."

"What I like to hear. Nice to know our little dance with Sergeant Anderson didn't cost us this run." He said, dropping a scoop of rice into a bowl before going to fetch a cup for tea.

"Here." Simon grabbed a cup from a stack he had next to the kettle and poured a cup.

Mal carefully arranged the cup on a tray with the large bowl of rice, teabag and a pair of apples.

Kaylee sighed warmly as she watched him. "You know you're awfully sweet, Captain. Bringing Inara breakfast."

"Yeah, well don't broadcast it." Mal warned as he picked up the tray.

"Sir?" Zoe called out.

"Yeah?" He turned to look at her, catching her nervousness.

"Could you tell Inara that I'd like to talk to her when she has some time?"

Mal looked at her, dumbfounded by the request as well as her tone. Nodding his head slowly, he moved towards the bunk.

* * *

"Where's 'Nara going?"

Mal scooped up his littlest and slung him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. "She's gonna talk to Zoe."

"Why? They never talk." Will said, hanging limply off of the broad shoulder.

"I dunno, Big Feller." Mal said as he hauled his boy through the kitchen. "Hey, gotta question for you."

"Yeah?"

"What do you want for Christmas?"

"Oh." He furrowed his brow, picking at Mal's cotton t-shirt. "I want a Serenity." He announced in earnest. "I want a little one I can play with and take to Tianshui with me. My size Serenity."

The Captain felt dread creep into his belly as he stopped. He had never in all his years seen a replica of his old boat being sold as a toy. He pulled Will down off of his shoulder and set him on his hip, looking into the child's big blue eyes. Oh how he wanted to give those eyes what they wanted. "I'll see what I can do, but that's a tall order Xiǎodì. You got a second choice?"

Will furrowed his brows, somewhat deterred that his first idea may not happen. "My own tea set."

"Huh?"

Will fidgeted, throwing his arms around his father's neck. "I like tea, I like how Inara makes tea, and I want my own tea set. Like a dark blue one with dragons."

Mal nodded, slowly. He couldn't help but think the Guild school Will was going to under Inara's name was starting to rub off on him. "I think we can manage that." Drawing Will's head closer, he planted a kiss to his temple. Taking him to the cargo bay where Jayne was securing the hoop for a game, he set the child down.

"We gonna be on the same team?" Will asked as he eyed his big brother being taunted by River down below.

"We get War, we can be Team Reynolds."

"Team Reynolds!"

* * *

Inara watched Zoe carefully. She could count the times she had seen the soldier appear nervous on one hand. There were times when Serenity was under fire, when they were out numbered and she was dragging either Mal or Jayne along while firing off rounds and she hadn't broken a sweat. You could put a gun to her temple, and she'd smile at you like you had made the biggest mistake of your life.

Zoe paced the length of her bunk like a caged tiger, twisting her hands together and breathing raggedly.

"Would you like to take this to my shuttle?" The Companion asked gingerly. "I can make some tea and we can relax before we-"

"I don't know what to wear." Zoe blurted out as if she was tasked at announcing Armageddon.

Inara folded her arms across her chest and drew her lips in. "Perhaps this is more than just clothing?"

The first mate stopped and sighed heavily. "Okay, _fine._ I don't- I don't know _women." _Dragging a hand down her face, she took a seat on the bed. "Men are so easy. So-so-so-"

"Simple?"

"Exactly!"

The corner' of Inara's mouth twitched. She and Zoe had never been particularly close, though Inara was aware that one some level they shared Mal. Zoe was Mal's professional half though, and never liked to open up about much that didn't involve artillery or killing someone softly. "Why don't you walk me through what has you so frustrated? Perhaps that can also help us with your wardrobe choice."

Zoe straightened her spine, composing herself as if she was about to explain a military strategy. "Asa waved me last night." She began shakily. "She invited May and I to come over to Tianshui on Christmas night for dinner and a some time together. And-and" Her voice began tinged with fret. "I _don't know what to wear._"

Inara wandered over to the foot of the bed where a stack of dresses had been laid out. Picking one up, she looked it over. It was slinky and red, encrusted with beadwork. "Well for starters, this is a little over-dressed for just staying over at the House." Setting it aside, she picked up another. "And Mayday _was_ invited." Inara smiled. "Which means it's not so formal, Asa wants to spend time with _both_ of you since May is such an important part of your life."

Zoe blushed slightly. "I suppose it does mean that. I just don't know what to wear. She's like you, she dresses so-so-" Zoe, a woman who could kill a man like it was as simple as buying milk, look the most uncomfortable Inara had ever seen her. "so expensively. Like every moment is a moment to be formal."

The Companion narrowed her eyes as she set another dress aside. "Zoe, I don't dress formal all the time. I _do_ wear expensive things," she corrected gently "but when I'm with Mal I wear very plain things. Simple dresses, light robes, and slippers."

"But her title-"

"Asa's the same." She carefully flipped through the few dresses the other woman had. "There's no need to be so uneasy about what to wear. She wants to see you because she likes _you_ as _you_ are." She paused, studying two judiciously. "You already appeal to her as a whole, you just need to be yourself." Inara took out an emerald dress with a long skirt. "I think this one's the most Christmas-y. It's also not too casual yet not so done-up."

Zoe took the dress and looked it over thoughtfully. Inara could see the gears in her mind trying to determine whether or not it would be well received. "Eddie would have been so much easier." Zoe lamented. "Hell, _Wash_ would have been easier."

"Men are easier when you're used to them." The Companion agreed her sympathetically. "Women require a different approach, a different type of understanding. A woman's affections can feel more unique at times." She paused thoughtfully. "It's also difficult when you're used to being the more dominant personality in the relationship, and you end up with someone who matches you."

"You talkin' about me or you and the Captain?" She asked, amusement managing to break through her nerves.

"Bit of both." Inara confessed with a chuckle. "Asa is a wonderful person, Zoe. I'm happy for you both. These things just take time getting used to. Frankly you two are at an advantage because you don't want to _kill_ each other like we did in the beginning."

Zoe laughed, and Inara laughed along with her. "She's very caring." Zoe allowed herself to say. "Very understanding. Wanted us to come Christmas night so May could have Christmas with everyone here."

"You _could _invite her here for Christmas Eve and Christmas morning." Inara suggested.

The first mate became uneasy. "I don't know…"

"Zoe, she moved out to the rim to take the position at Tianshui because she's not afraid of dirt and a little crime."

Zoe furrowed her brows, not quite ready for so much commitment. "Not everyone knows about us. Should I get her anything for Christmas?"

"She likes to read when she can."

The First Mate nodded slowly. She paused, uncertain. "She likes the history of the pilgrimage, does she like to read about it?"

"She has a lot of biographies." Inara supplied.

"So expansion to the outer-rim and the like?"

"And Earth-That-Was. She's particularly fond of the Victorian Era and Westward Expansion. I believe she just bought a book on Prohibition. Perhaps you can find something complementary?"

Zoe breathed deeply. "All I ever had to do was buy Wash a toy." Getting up, she put a finger to her temples. "Thank you."

"Any time, Zoe." Inara replied sincerely.

"Hey, you wouldn't happen to know where two gifts I put in the garbage are?"

* * *

"Losers!" River crowed happily as the losing team panted and caught their breath.

"Āng zāng de piànzi." Warren huffed, pulling Will off of their father's shoulders.

"You'll never be able to prove it." The pilot snorted.

"Well that was a good game." Simon told everyone as he wiped his face with a towel. "Pity we don't have any water to shower with."

"I got baby wipes in the room." Kaylee chuckled. "We can wipe each other down."

"Ugh." Jayne grunted as he tossed the ball through the hoop to practice. "Kaylee, I don't need need ta think of the doc gettin' wiped down. Mood killer if there ever was one."

"No one needs to know about your "moods", Jayne." Simon quipped, taking a drink of water from a coffee cup he had left on a crate.

"Doesn't exactly kill my mood." The little mechanic slugged the mercenary in the arm.

"New game." River caught the ball and tossed it to Kaylee. Grabbing Will, she set him on the floor before rushing her brother. "New game is Attack Simon!"

Simon had a foot sweep under his legs and send him to the floor. He fell, looking like a started rabbit.

"Attack Simon!" Will jumped into the fray.

The doctor, tired from the game, groaned and weakly attempted to defend himself. ""Attack Simon" is not Simon's favorite game." He yelped, struggling to his feet with a seven year old attached to his back and a sister poking and tickling him.

Jayne grinned. "Sounds fun to me."

"You know what would be a great gift? No longer playing "Attack Simon.""

"River, don't kill your brother." Mal pulled Will off of Simon and held him upside down. "He's still useful to me."

"Especially after this job." Warren piped up.

"Hey! No one's getting hurt on this job." The Captain refuted.

"That an order?" Will asked as he still hung upside down by his legs.

"Yeah, it is."

* * *

**TRANSLATIONS:**

Ó, wǒ ài nǐ: Oh I love you.

Xiǎodì: Little brother

Āng zāng de piànzi: Dirty cheater

* * *

**A/N: **I lied about there being a break. So how about not one, but two chapters today? Next one goes up tonight.


	7. Salisbury

"You're lucky." Simon told the little boy on his exam table. It was late and he was standing in the infirmary in his robe and slippers. "I have two left." He shook the pills out of the bottle and carefully placed them in a paper cup. Grabbing a cup of water, he brought them over to Will. "Here, take these."

"Why does it hurt when I grow?" The little boy asked as he took the cup with the pills and dumped them in his mouth.

He handed him the cup of water. "Your muscles are having to stretch with your bones. Also, you're playing a lot and that wears them out too." With the downtime during traveling the entire day had been devoted to play. River had been crazed with joy that her playmate had returned, and had played just as hard as the seven-year-old had. The duo had conscripted Warren, eventually Kaylee and Simon himself, and even Mayday to join them.

Swallowing the pill, he handed back the cup. "Sorry I woke you up."

"It's no problem, I told you to come to me if you couldn't sleep." Simon hoisted him up, kissed his temple and set him down. "Go back to bed, okay? I'll close up."

Will left Simon, however he paused at the stairs. Quietly walking up them, he wandered into the helm where he found River.

"Xiǎodì you legs hurt?" She asked as he wandered over.

"Yeah, it's tough growing." He told her, climbing into her lap.

"Baby." She teased.

Will punched her lightly in the arm before settling in and ignoring her giggle. "You think it hurts xiǎo mèimei when she grows in Inara's tum?"

"Don't think so." The pilot said. "It's all she does. Eat, sleep, grow."

"Hm." He leaned against her and looked at the planet they were nearing. The dark skies of Salisbury were protected by the thin silver ring of atmosphere. "Can you read her?"

"She has basics." River took a hand off of the steering yolk and stroked his hair. He had a such a nice, gentle mind. It helped her get through her days. "Hungry, sleepy, full, awake. Not much else. Hungry right now." She looked down at her xiǎodì and smiled. "Excited for her."

"She's gonna be pretty." He exclaimed with a smile. "When she gets big enough we can play. And then she can start school at Tianshui too."

"Long time." She reminded him.

"I know, but I'll help when she's little. I'm good at helping."

"Wanna help now?"

* * *

There was a pounding on the door.

Mal groaned, pulling Inara closer as the hatch continued to bang. "Go away." He muttered into his pillow.

"It's the middle of the night." She yawned, clumsily nudging him as she was half asleep herself. "Probably important."

"Let's assume it isn't." He told grumbled, his eyes still shut.

"What if we're going to crash?" She sighed, not terribly serious.

"It'd be noisier."

"What if it's pirates?"

"We _are_ pirates, Dear."

"What if I'm hungry and you go get me the last apple?" Inara's eyes opened slowly.

Mal sighed, brushing his curled fingers against her cheek. Moaning, he rolled over and fished his sweatpants from the floor.

"Xièxiè."

"Uh huh." He yawned, padding over to the hatch. "Someone better be dying up there." He growled at the knocking. Pushing the hatch open, he stood on the ladder rungs and looked up to a familiar face. His face, several dacades younger.

"Hey Cap'n." William smiled down in his pajamas.

Inara reached down and grabbed her nightgown from the floor.

"You have a bad dream?" Mal asked, hanging on the rungs.

The little boy shook his head. "River wants you to know that we're landing in thirty minutes."

"Alright." Mal climbed out of the hatch and stood and watched as Will climbed down to go snuggle with Inara.

"Baby, why are you up?" He could hear Inara ask.

"My legs are growin' again. Simon gave me some stuff-"

Wandering into the kitchen, Mal spotted the last apple on the counter. Swiping it, he washed it off and padded back to his bunk, opening the hatch. "Will."

William padded back over, looking up the hatch.

Mal dropped the apple, watching the boy catch it. "Give that to Inara, k?"

Nodding, he left his father's sight. Mal sleepily ran his hands through his own hair and wandered into the helm. "What time is it planet side?"

"Three A.M." River announced. "You want to make the pick up?"

"Too early." He yawned. "Let's wake the crew and make contact at five. Take her down at the docks. We'll get water, fuel, maybe find a place open to get food before we go park somewhere less conspicuous."

"Aye." River began flipping switches.

"Kaylee and Warren down in the engine?"

"They are, it's going to be tricky."

"Sounds about right." He sniffled. "I'll uh," he stifled back a yawn "I'll go dress, grab Warren when we land and we'll handle the supplies and refuel. Can search for a supply house that runs 24 hours?"

River's dark brown eyes narrowed. "The dock is a bad place. Worse late at night. That wise?"

"Listen, I only got a limited amount of time to get things done." He pressed. "Can you find one or not?"

"Only if you pick up canned peaches." The pilot bribed.

"Done."

* * *

"Fifty pounds of rice, six loaves of bread, four bags of frozen vegitables, three packs of protein, case of oats, case of canned peaches, four gallons of milk, one bag of potatoes, one can of coffee, case of eggs, two jars of strawberry jelly, two jars of peanut butter, one spice variety pack." The market man recited, pointing to each item on the pallet. "Jasmine tea, sugar, flour, salt."

Mal sighed, the amount of food his crew needed making his head ache. He set a few more items on top of the pile. "You got chocolate?"

"Dark or milk?

"Milk chocolate. Three bars."

"You're gonna get on Kaylee's good side." Warren said, putting a tool belt and coveralls on the pile.

"That's what you want for Christmas?" Mal asked.

"Yeah."

"Don't tell Inara I had you pick it out. Act surprised." The Captain sighed once more. He saw something on a shelf behind the counter and the barred off area. "Is that a tea set?"

The store clerk looked behind himself.

"Can I see it?" He asked. "You got gold dragon pearl tea?"

The man set the tea set down on the counter and carefully pushed it through the barrier's window. "From Shinon, most expensive tea I have."

"Of course it is." Mal mumbled to himself as he inspected the tea set with blue dragons on it.

"Inara's favorite." Warren noted out loud. "You're just getting her tea?"

"Kinda hard to get something for a woman who has everything." His father told him. "How much is this set?"

"Two platinum."

Mal winced. "You got it in navy?"

"I just have the one, Sir."

Warren looked everything over. "You get something for May and Riv?"

"Of course. Say, will you take one and a half?"

"Depends on how much dragon pearl you buy." He said gruffly.

The Captain looked at the man all befuddled-like.

The fat man with gin blossoms on his nose scratched his beard. "I can't unload the stuff on anyone, so damn pricey. It just takes up space."

Suppressing a groan, he wearily pinched the bridge of his nose and briefly contemplated robbing the man instead of being fleeced his own self. If Zoe and Jayne had been there instead of Warren, who had all the criminal savvy of a giant puppy that didn't quite know how big it's feet were, he would have. "How much is this gonna cost me?"

"Five platinum."

Mal's eyes snapped open wide. "Qiǎngjié! Two!"

"Four and a half!" The hard worn man roared.

"You're gonna make me poor! Wǒ dédàole xiǎo zuǐba wèi! Two and a half."

"Four!"

"You're already getting all my coin for this food! I gotta boat of people, _children,_ who I'm trying to give a nice Christmas, and here you are bleeding me dry!" Mal was honestly too tired to haggle and really just wanted to shoot the man and take off. However he had Warren and he pressed on.

"Fine, three, final offer."

"You are a cruel man, but fine." Mal shoved his hand into his pocket. "Can you at least deliver this all for free, or am I going to have to have my son haul this back in trips?"

"We'll deliver."

"Can you wrap a few of these things in paper?"

The storekeeper poked at him as if he were pushing it.

"Just a handful of items." The Captain pressed. "Can't be more than a few bits worth of brown paper."

"Fine." The man grunted stubbornly.

"I'll carried the wrapped packages myself." Pulling out the roll of cash, a mixture of his money and some of Inara's that she had given him, he looked at the money with dread. "I'm going to regret saying this, but what's the total?"

* * *

Mal stepped out into the cold night air with his eldest, sipping a complimentary cup of coffee the shopkeeper had given him for spending so damn much. "Don't tell _anyone_ how much that cost."

Warren shifted the weight of all of the gifts in his arms as he followed him out into the foggy night. The neon from the dock bars and cat houses lit up the haze, making it a technicolor fog. "Secret's safe with me. Tea set for Will?"

"Yeah, wanted a Firefly toy first and foremost." His chest heaved in regret. "I made him give me his second choice."

"Don't worry about the Serenity toy." He smiled confidently, drawing his father's attention. "Got that covered."

"You do now?"

"Yep."

Mal took a sip of his coffee and rolled his eyes. "You're just gonna be an insufferable curr from here on out."

"Possibly." Warren's big square jaw twisted up into a lopsided smile. "Dàgē to the rescue."

"Alright _oh great Dàgē_," He said sarcastically "Serenity should be fueled and watered by now. Best we head back. Might even get to catch some shut eye be-." Seeing three men approaching then briskly, he pushing his coat back and rested his fingers on the tang of his pistol. The figures came into view, and he suddenly regretted displaying his piece. "Ó, wǒ tā mā de-"

"Sir," The grey coated officer approached them. "Are you aware that this town prohibits personal firearms?"

* * *

_"Inara."_ River's voice buzzed into the room, stirring Inara and Will both awake.

The little boy whined as the arms holding him pulled away.

"Shh." She kissed the crop of sandy brown hair before leaving. Pressing the com button, Inara pulled on her robe. "Yes, River?"

_"Mal got pinched."_

* * *

**TRANSLATIONS:**

Xiǎodì: Little Brother

Xiǎo mèimei: Little sister

Xièxiè: Thank you

Qiǎngjié!: Robbery!

Wǒ dédàole xiǎo zuǐba wèi!: I got little mouths to feed!

Ó, wǒ tā mā de-: Oh fuck me-

* * *

**A/N: **Will try to do two chapters tomorrow as well. Questions? Thoughts? Opinions? Leave a review. I love those things.


	8. Bacon

"They just left me." Warren said as he slumped in the chair, the crew sans Jayne gathered in the galley. The only one dressed for the day other than the boy was the first mate. "I didn't have a gun, so they didn't have any cause to arrest me."

"Shouldn't he have known the town doesn't allow guns?" Simon asked, pulling his robe more tightly together.

"It was nearly four in the morning when they left." Zoe took a pull from her mug. "Hell I'd take a piece, anyone on the street at four in the morning is up to no good."

"Except the Captain." Kaylee corrected.

"That's entirely debatable, Mèimei."

"Still an idiot for going out so late." River corrected tiredly.

"He got scanned no doubt." Her brother announced. "I highly doubt he put his contacts in."

"The system the station uses is old." River added. "Hand-me-down tech. It takes time for them to send off information and get a response from the database. I scrambled their outgoing signal to buy us more time with him."

"How much time?" Inara asked.

"Hour? A day? depends on how poor their signal is. Don't know. I can only disrupt it, can't shut it down."

"They're going to be on the lookout for the rest of us when his warrants start coming in." Simon said nervously. "With the exception of Inara ours are all linked under known accomplices."

"We need to move." Zoe told the group. "The longer we sit at this dock, the more likely we have a fed squad come crawling up here like huǒ yǐ de tā mā de qún."

"This is going to push our timetable back even further." Inara sighed, cradling her cup of tea. "Warren, why don't you go help Jayne unload the supplies?"

The boy nodded, slowly getting up and lumbering out.

"We need to split up." The Companion told the group.

Zoe nodded in agreement. "You wanna go after the Captain?"

"Well he is _my_ idiot, so I suppose so."

"Jayne, Simon and I will make the pick up." The first mate told her. "How about you take Warren in your shuttle, we can meet up."

The Companion took a long pull of her tea. "You're going to have to give me a little bit of time to get ready. My storming in and acting entitled is more effective if I look the part."

"Understandable." Zoe blinked heavily, trying to shake off her exhaustion.

"I hate to mess with this plan." Kaylee piped up. "But Serenity's thermal drivers need to be replaced." Everyone's heads turned towards her "It was honestly a sixty-forty shot it wouldn't blow out when we hit atmo this time around. I don't know how many more takes offs and landings I got left in 'em."

"Can you find a place open right now? " Zoe asked.

"Maybe. Wouldn't be the most honest place in the world."

"I'm gonna make contact with our seller. If you can take Jayne and run and find something between now and when we head to the meeting site, by all means. If not, we'll have to make due."

"I'll go help with unloading so Kaylee can take Jayne." Simon offered as he got up and left.

"I'll go get dressed." Kaylee announced as she left.

Zoe and Inara looked at each other. A beat passed before the two rose up and headed to their jobs for the day.

* * *

Will yawned as Simon laid him down in Kaylee's hammock. "Where's Inara?" He mumbled, wanting his surrogate mother.

"She and your brother are getting the Captain out of jail." Simon explained. "We need to do a job though, so you're going to stay in here with Kaylee, okay?"

The little boy rubbed his eyes. "He got arrested again?"

"He's not in too much trouble, Baby." Kaylee said as she brought over a very sleepy May. "You think you can share the hammock with Mayday?"

Will nodded, and soon the toddler was cuddling him. "Hey Mayday." He said drowsily as they were tucked in.

"Wih." May said his name the only way she could and curled against her playmate. The engine room was warm and familiar, and her eyes started bobbing as soon as Kaylee fixed the pillow.

"Can you do me a favor and watch out for her?" Simon asked the little boy, pulling the blanket up. "We're all busy and I need you to be the big cousin."

"Uh huh." Will grimaced as May kneed him in the gut. "I'll keep her safe." Shifting into a more comfortable position, he began to dozing off.

"We're good here." Kaylee told Simon, giving him a long kiss and straightening out the collar of his jacket. He looked far from the well-dressed doctor that had boarded her ship a handful of years back. Workpants and boots replaced polished dress shoes and slacks. His waistcoat was now canvas instead of silk. The once smooth face had a thin layer of stubble on his face and at his side was a drop holster and pistol. With all the outward changes though, he was still her doctor. "Be safe."

"It's only mild crime." He reassured, moving closer and cupping her face. "Mild crime that pays well. Be back before you know it, little bit richer." He smiled suggestively. "Maybe when we're back on Highgate I can take you out," He ran his other hand across her hip "to a restaurant. Where they actually let us sit at a table. And there's a waiter."

"And they serve us real food." She shuddered at the thought.

"Vegetables." He purred. "And meats."

"Oo." Kaylee looked at him seductively. "And deserts."

"Oh yes."

"All by ourselves."

"All. By. _Ourselves._" Simon was nearly taken by his own words himself. It had been ages since he had a steak. It had also been ages since he hadn't had either a small child on his lap at the dining table or picking off of his plate. The perils of being a designated nanny.

"Can we just have time to ourselves before Highgate?" The mechanic chewed on her lower lip. "Because as much as I love runnin' around with the little ones-"

"Same." He sighed. "I'll see if we can get a night off of kid duty."

"Just a night to rip your clothes off, then pass out." She giggled, pecking him on the lips.

"You should start taking naps like I've been recommending." He pressed sweetly.

"Got too much to do."

"Kaylee," Looking over at Will and May, be made sure they were out cold before uttering the rest of the sentence. "you're not exactly 100% and yet you work ten hours on the engine and then another two or three helping out with the kids." He kissed her before pulling away. "Naps. _Please._ Now, the thermal drivers?"

"Found some used ones, but they look like they're in better shape than the ones we had." She held up her crossed fingers.

Simon kissed the fingers and exhaled tiredly. The side effect of weak coffee. "Well I have to go smuggle booze and bacon."

Kaylee giggled.

"What?"

"Nothin', just go bring home that bacon."

* * *

"There's no need to be nervous, Dàgē." Inara reassured the fraught Warren as he watched her fly the shuttle to the federal office. "We've pulled your father out of much worse"

"Oh I know." He mumbled, trying to steady his breath. "It's just… I always get to stay in the engine room."

"Well you're graduating. If you go back into my quarters you'll find a present with your name on it. Open it up and put the clothes on, alright?" She prompted. getting a quizzical look from him, she continued. "I bought you clothes for Christmas, but you need to wear them at the office in order for this to work."

His nervousness broke for a moment, and he gave her a lopsided smile. "I knew you got me clothes."

She rolled her eyes. "Go put them on."

"Companion employees don't wear clothes they've grown out of?" he joked awkwardly as he got up and went through the drapes.

"No, even they can afford clothes that fit." She reached under the seat and pulled out a pistol, looking it over, she slipped it into her cape's inner-lining pocket.

Setting some work pants to the side, Warren pulled a coat out of the box. It was thick and warm, made of sturdy dark brown canvas with a bit of fur on the collar. He was taken back by how nice and new it all was. The shirts, the boots, the pants, she had even gotten him socks. Someone thought he was fit for so many new things, including a coat. "Hey Inara?"

"Yes?"

"These are really nice." His voice crackled, betraying how appreciative he was.

Inara focused on his tone, and her face softened. "Warren-"

"Yeah?"

"You deserve nice things." She reassured firmly.

Composing himself, Warren began to change into his new outfit. "Did you ever celebrate Christmas with your family? I mean, I know you're Buddhist but you seem into it. More into it than the Captain."

"We did." She sighed. "My parents I think liked the excuse of giving us presents to distract us from what was going on with them." Inara admitted. "And as we got older, it was one of the few bright spots. Especially for my brother Hamir and I. We enjoyed saving up to get each other what we wanted."

"He sounds nice."

"He is."

"What does he do?"

The Companion smiled. "He's a city councilman on Shinon. He's also a cardiologist."

Warren came in, well dressed in his sensible outfit. "Serras sure aim high."

She chuckled, taking her eyes off the sky for a moment to look him over. "I suppose so, _Handsome_."

Blushing, he combed his hair out of his face. "Do you miss Hamir?"

"Especially around the holidays." Her voice hit an odd pitch, betraying her training that normally kept her so cool.

"You could wave him." The Reynolds boy suggested.

"I tried a few months back." Inara explained. "It was right after the jail break on Beaumonde. You had just gotten you mechanic's certification, and we had the Captain back, and we knew about the baby, and it just… it felt like the right time." She said softly. "It very rarely feels like the right time, but it was. However I couldn't get to him. He wouldn't answer and I couldn't leave messages."

_"Shuttle, this is the Salisbury Federal Office. Please state your business over our airspace."_ The radio crackled.

Inara switched on her radio. "Federal Office this is Inara Serra. I'm a Companion with the Guild, and I'm here to pay bail. Requesting permission to dock on your landing pad."

There was a beat before the radio crackled back on._ "Permission granted, please dock at slip B4."_

"Thank you." Inara shut off the radio and began to ease her shuttle down.

"Sooo, Hamir." Warren picked up again.

"Hamir." She sighed, suddenly distracted by the thought of her brother. .

Warren could see how affected Inara was. She never talked about her family, he had only heard of bits and pieces of conversations he had wandered into. "Well, it wouldn't hurt to try again. You can still tell him about all of that, minus the Captain being sprung from jail… _twice _now."

Her lips twitched as the shuttle landed with a soft jolt. "You really don't think he'd approve of a little incarceration?"

* * *

"Rasputin." Zoe told her backup as they wandered down Serenity's ramp. Their meet up spot was a gulch. The sun cast odd shadows from the outcroppings of rocks. It was a dry, red place, and the moons hung heavy over in the air. "He's our seller. Said there'd be a truck out here."

"Is the price set or are we trying to talk him down?" Simon asked her as a truck rolled towards them. Due to previous experience his hand slipped to the tang of his pistol as he tracked the vehicle.

"Set. Unload the cargo, hand the money over, fly out."

"How much gorram pork did Eddie buy?" Jayne asked as the truck that rumbled near was a semi.

"His club's very popular." The doctor reminded. "Also if you have proper cold storage, you could have it keep for some time."

The truck rolled to a halt and three men got out.

"Rasputin?" Zoe called out.

A tall man missing an eye stepped forward. "You're not Malcolm Reynolds."

"You're right, but I'm his first mate and I'm authorized for this sale." She said, meeting the man.

"Where's my money?" He said suspiciously, sizing her up.

Reaching into her jacket pocket, Zoe flashed the cash. "If your men can help mine load the cargo, I can give you your pay."

There was a pause, Rasputin and his men looking over Serenity's team. He nodded, and his team went to open up the back of the truck.

The noises coming from within the truck puzzled Zoe and her crew.

There was a squeal.

Furrowing her brows, she stormed over.

* * *

Eddie turned on his wave screen to see a furious Zoe. He beamed, eager with the thought of patching things up. "Zoe!" His joy died though, because he saw her expression. "Ohhh."

"LIVE PIGS?!" The first mate seethed. "Gorramit Eddie you're having us fly live pigs to you?!"

"I told Mal it was fresh." He said defensively.

"We thought you meant freshly butchered we didn't think they'd still be squealing you puffed up ignoramus!"

"Hey! Don't talk to me like that!" He growled. "I didn't have to give you this job but I did! And here you are, the woman I want to nothing more than to talk to, yelling at me for giving your crew work!"

Zoe glared at him.

Eddie slunk back, worried about the glare. It was like death, staring him in the face. Cold and unwavering and ready to tear him from limb to limb. "Well… I did." He squeaked.

She sighed, looking away from the screen. "You'll have your gorram pigs soon enough."

"So did you uh, open my gift?" He asked uneasily.

She turned back to the screen. "Eddie, if I open your gift I'm gonna take it out and figure out _how to kill you_ with it."

* * *

TRANSLATIONS

Mèimei: sister

Huǒ yǐ de tā mā de qún: a fucking swarm of fire ants

Dàgē: Big brother


	9. Wǒ kào

"This is worse than the cows." Simon grimaced as he watched the pigs squeal and race down the chute and into the pen they had set up in Serenity. Huffing, he tossed a bale of hay onto the plywood they had put down as floor in the pen. He began to shake the hay out to spread it more evenly. "This is _a lot _worse than the cows."

"Well we only got 'em for a few days." Zoe said tensely, trying not to fuss with her nose as she helped Jayne with loading the feed.

"Then we'll get our money." Jayne said positively as he flung a sack of feed onto a pile they had established. "Go see Sue-Ann." He puffed up his chest. "Got her booked fer Christmas."

"That's kinda sweet." The first mate said in amusement.

"Gonna ride her like Santa rides them reindeer."

"Ever the romantic." Simon quipped, ignoring Jayne's glare. His mind whirring with the possible health implications of having smelly, filthy animals contaminating their cargo bay. Where they played, near where they slept, ate, and lived. "So, you think Inara got Mal out?"

* * *

Mal heard the quick, determined pace of heels clicking on the floor. He straightened his back and watched her enter with all the entitlement of royalty. And the officer treated her as such.

"There he is." Inara said, her words oozing with vexation. Stepping in, he opened his mouth but she slapped his across the jaw, hard. His teeth clicked together.

Warren as he stood behind her winced.

"I had you two go out for one simple task, and you get your self arrested and shame my name!" Inara said firmly, coldly.

He sputtered, catching some air so he could recover from the strike. "I'm… sorry." Mal bowed his head."Uh… M'am."

"He's my other body guard." Inara explained, her hands resting on her hips as she sighed dramatically. "He's a good security man, but he's dense when it comes to following different customs. I'll have to dock his pay for this slip-up."

"Well, he didn't hurt anyone, that's what matters." The officer told her.

"I'm sorry, m'am." Mal groveled. "I truly am."

"I don't care, I had to drag myself out of bed for this. I have a meeting with the council in just an hour." She tilted her chin upwards in dominance. "You're lucky I don't have you fired and leave you here for them to have their way with you." She turned to the law. "I paid his bail up front. May I take him?"

"Your registration checks out, Miss Serra." He nods "I suppose we can let him go."

"If I may be so bold to ask, can you cancel his record scan so this doesn't go onto his file?" She asked demurely. "It doesn't look well upon my name if he's arrested and his records are pulled if he's under my employ."

He mulled the request over, glancing over to her he was caught in her warm, bewitching eyes. The Companion gave him a smile, confident and trusting him to keep her name sacred, and the officer's head nodded. How could he deny a lady of such status? "Xiao." He called out to the man at the door. "Please cancel this man's eye scan."

"Yes sir."

* * *

Simon locked the gate and looked over his shoulder at Zoe. "Livestock's secure."

Zoe nodded her head and passed the bundle of money to Rasputin. "Here you are."

His shifty eyes focused on the bills as he unrolled them and flipped through them. "Break it down!" He ordered his crew.

Zoe, Jayne and Simon all watched the other crew began to take down the chute and load up the equipment. "Button down the scotch good and tight." Zoe told the men. "Stuff's worth more than this boat."

* * *

"Sorry for hitting you." Inara said as she eased the shuttle upwards.

"Forgot how good your arm is." He told her, buckling his gun belt back on. "Bail?"

"The get out of jail stash." She told him.

"I take it Zoe has the ship at the meet point?" He took the seat next to her.

"Getting the cargo as we speak."

"Good." The Captain sighed in relief. "Get off this forsaken rock and get my money."

There was an awkward beat as the pair looked out the window tensely.

"Four in the morning? _Really_?" She finally asked in disbelief.

"We have a very narrow window of time!" He blustered.

"You took Warren!"

"He was already up!"

"He's a child! No offense, Warren."

"None taken." A voice from inside the shuttle responded.

"Can we fight later?" He asked.

"Why?! We're not fighting!"

"You're flying!"

"I am perfectly capable of flying and fighting with you at the same time!"

"You just said we are't fighti-"

"_Shut up,_ Mal!"

* * *

"She really was something." The officer told his underling as they watched the shuttle take off. "It's amazing Companions are out so far. A true example of civilization taming and coming to the Rim."

"Yes." Xiao nodded. "But, I have news."

He turned, furrowing his brows.

"There's an illegal deal going on down in Muir gulch. We had an informant tip us off. It's the Kato gang. One of their lower level people is running the deal, Rasputin."

"Do we have a ship enroute?"

"Scramble squad." He announced. "They'll go in quiet and bust the deal."

"Good. Keep me appraised." He said, walking away from the window. "It's about time we bust one of their deals and haul them all off."

* * *

"And that was the cretaceous period." River ended as sat in her pilot's chair, idly petting the gecko.

Hoban blinked lazily, enjoying the petting as well as the warmth of the console.

"You should retain this information, it's the history of your people." She told him seriously.

There was a trill from the console and River hit the button. "You get the Captain?"

_"That I did."_ Inara's voice replied. _"Am I clear to dock?"_

"Yes. We'll be leaving soon." River activated the shuttle docking gear and turned to the lizard. "They still complain about geckos, but pigs are worse. Smell worse. You smell but not tha-" Suddenly she felt it. The ship seeking towards them like a cat through grass. Jerking away from her co-pilot, she pawed at her ear and growled in pain.

Blood and handcuffs.

And eventually Child Protective Services.

Panting, she scrambled. "No, no, no, no, no."

* * *

"That's it." Kaylee helped May take a bite of toast. The toddler was in her arms as she walked back and forth across the engine room, sharing some breakfast with the child. Her little charges had woken up hungry, so she had carefully slipped out to fetch them some chow.

"Mmm." She said, looking up at her Aunt Kaylee as she chewed.

"It is good." Will agreed as he was seated in the hammock with his own piece. "Rasberry jam."

"Yeah, you Daddy got in trouble but at least he managed to get some good food beforehand." Kaylee said before taking a bite herself. "Mmmm." She told May playfully, nuzzling her to get a giggle.

_"Kaylee."_ River's voice came in through the com system. It was worried and ragged, making the mechanic look up in attention. "_Get Serenity warmed up, NOW."_

Kaylee quickly deposited May in the hammock and made sure the door was locked.

* * *

"Hell." Zoe said as she heard River's announcement. Looking at Simon and Jayne as they buttoned down the cargo, she shouted. "Hey! We gotta go."

"Wha-" Jayne stopped as the sounds of engines roared from above.

A squad of men rained down on ropes.

"Wǒ kào." Simon muttered as he gaped at the scene.

"Why the hell are there pigs in my cargo bay?!"

Everyone looked back to see Mal on the catwalk.

* * *

TRANSLATIONS

Wǒ kào: Fuck

* * *

**A/N:** Thoughts? Concerns? Thrilling comments? Leave a review. I love reviews.


	10. Cacophony

It wasn't even nine in the morning.

There was a moment between when he saw the pigs and the gunfire started, that Mal reflected on that fact.

He had a lot on his mind. Actually he had had a lot on his mind for several months, it had compounded though since the Christmas talk had started, and really come to a head that morning. That gorram morning. When he had gone and spent most of his money on food and Christmas gifts. When he had gotten arrested because of heavy fog cover. When he had gotten the crap slapped out of him by his beautiful, pregnant partner. When he had gotten into a fight with said partner right after she had slapped and sprung him out of jail. When he looked into his cargo bay to find a pen full of live pigs.

Then the guns.

It wasn't even nine in the morning.

The first one cracked, and his head swiveled to find Jayne picking off the scramble squad as they leapt off of their ropes. There were two dozen or so. Half went after their sellers who were clambering into their truck, and the others latched onto Serenity like relentless, hungry ticks on a hound. The soldiers charged into the ship, screaming orders to lay down weapons as they were covered from head to toe in armor and guns. Skinning his pistol the Captain stepped back towards the shuttle and stopped Inara from leaving as all hell broke loose.

"The kids!" Inara looked furious at him. Hellfire flashed in her dark eyes towards him shoving her back into the shuttle and refusing her the right to go protect her baby boy and niece.

"Sure they're fine." He said quickly, forcing her back. "Warren, you two don't leave till I come get you." Slamming the door shut and locking it from the outside he ducked when a bullet lodged not too far from his head. "Zoe!" he began to fire at the men invading the ship. The noise was horrendous, a cacophony of gunpowder blasts and squealing pigs. "You wanna tell me why there's folk tryin' to kill me ON MY BOAT?!"

Zoe wrestled a task force soldier for his assault rifle. Head butting him she wrenched the weapon away and shot him with it. "It's complicated, Sir!"

Simon fired two shots off from behind the case of scotch. "Where's Ri-"

Serenity jerked upwards, knocking everyone off of their feet.

"Nutty girl!" Jayne snarled as he struck the button to the door and the ramp began crawling up.

Too many of the task force had gotten inside. That was what Mal decided as he began picking the ones off that had gotten past his crew and were rushing the stairs. "Little help up here?!" He yelped, picking two off as the others overcame him.

"Get the shuttle." He heard soldier one say. "There are other crew members in the shuttle, I repeat, secur-"

It was enough to set Mal off. He grabbed the man by the helmet and slammed him to the ground before he could finish. Whirling around to block the next one, he felt a crushing blow to his head by the butt of a rifle and was sent to the floor.

There was darkness, then the acrid smell of gunpowder. It was followed by far too much light that washed out the rest of the ship. Voices came through as if they had been submerged in water.

"Put your hands in the air!"

"We will use force!"

Mal pushed himself up as Jayne picked one up by the back of his pants and threw him over the railing like a rag doll. It was too late though, the lock on the shuttle had been blown open was was a black blast mark across the metal. Grabbing his pistol and stumbling to his feet, he rushed the shuttle.

Warren was in a heap on the floor, while Inara sat on the floor with her back pressed against the draped wall. The Alliance officer's rifle was trained on her.

"Drop your weapons or I'll shoot her!" The squad soldier ordered.

Mal studied Inara, who appeared more annoyed the man was still standing than actually frightened. Her arms were wrapped around herself, but he also spotted how her hand was in one of her robe's pockets. "Sorry to hear our military stoops to threatening innocent bystanders." He said calmly, putting his gun down. "One heavy with child, obviously. Real stand up guy you are."

"What do you mean, _obviously_?" Inara asked with all the danger of Vera loaded and with the safety off.

He flinched.

The Soldier nodded past the disarmed Captain. "You too."

Mal looked back to find Jayne standing in the doorway, looking peeved as all hell someone wanted him to set his gun down.

"I said SET IT DOWN." The soldier barked nervously. His finger itched on the trigger. He knew the odds against him, he had seen what this scrappy little gang of pirates had done to the rest of his squad.

"Easy now." Mal told him as he turned his palms up. "Jayne."

"Aw hell." Jayne growled in defiance "I could killed this sǐ pì yǎn, Mal."

"Take it as a kindness if you didn't try. Not a gamble I'm willing to take."

The mercenary tossed the assault riffle to the floor and impetuously put his hands up.

The soldier carefully lowered his rifle away from Inara.

The Companion drew her hand out of her robe and fired her pistol twice. Blood sprayed from the soldier's chest as the armor-piercing rounds cut through his breastplate and shattered through bone. He stumbled backwards, shocked.

"Wǒ tǎoyàn dāng tāmen rènwéi wǒ yǒuxiē kūwěi de huā rénzhì." She muttered peevishly as his body hit her floor with a thud. Crawling on the floor, she reached the eighteen year old as Mal grabbed his piece and hurried over. "Warren, Warren, B_aby?_" Her voice hit a frantic note as she rolled him over.

"Go get-"

"Simon." Jayne finished Mal's sentence as he lumbered out. "HEY SIMON! SOMEONE'S DYIN!"

* * *

Serenity tore up to the ether, bursting out of the mottled grey clouds and up to the higher levels of atmosphere. Her innards straining as the air began thinner and her thrusters had to switch over for space travel. She began to pinken, the heat from breaking atmo making her blush.

Then the Alliance cruiser came exploding out of the clouds, it's newer turbines howling. Matte grey with darker grey camouflage stripes wrapping around it's sleek body, it was a predator charging it's prey.

* * *

Inara's eyes frantically searched the teen's body for the bullet hole.

"What happened?" Mal asked quickly as he did the same.

"That hún dàn came in here and fired. Warren pushed me out the way." She said tearfully.

There was a groan from the boy, he winced and gasped for air. "Ahhhh."

Mal reached for the rifle the dead soldier on the floor had and pulled it over. He studied it quickly, and saw the settings. "Switch rifle, he had is set to the sonic rifle setting. No bullets."

"I-I-" Warren sputtered, his eyes glassy as he looked up at his parents in agony. "I can't breathe."

"Where'd you get hit, son?" The Captain asked, watching his boy bite back a wail of agony. In the corner of his eye he caught how Inara looked upon with a guilt laden gaze.

The boy groped at his chest. His head lolled to the side as he shut his eyes and hissed in pain.

"Oh Son." Inara gathered his head and put it in her lap. She ran her fingers through his thick, dark hair. His hand reached up, and she eagerly took it to calm him. "Easy, Simon's on his way."

Mal pushed the shirt up as Simon rushed on. The larger welt on his side was already turning a deep, murky purple.

"What do we have?" The doctor asked, setting his bag down.

"Broken ribs, soldier's sonic pulse was jacked up to a-"

"_Everyone hold on!_" River's voice cried out. It was frantic and unsteady, proof she was walking a fine edge under a dire situation.

There was a sudden jolt that knocked them all backwards and made Warren cry out in agony.

Serenity banked again, and Mal scrambled for Inara as she slammed against her bedpost. Wrapping his arms around her and grasping onto the post to ground himself he clung on.

Serenity lurched, swinging backwards.

"DAMMIT RIVER." He growled.

Simon held onto Warren by his arms, flattening himself against the floor.

Inara groaned in Mal's arms. While her shoulder ached from hitting the bed post, the most offending thing was her nausea. With each pitch and roll Serenity's gravity system fought with the planet's own gravitational pull and wrought havoc on her stomach. Holding onto Mal to keep herself safe, she buried her face into his shoulder and did her best to breathe calmly to keep herself from losing what little stomach contents she had.

"_Sorry, being followed_." River said in a jittery voice over the com. "_Cloud cover's low._"

* * *

Serenity spun backwards, looping back the thick grey clouds as the sleek Alliance ship followed like a cat on a mouse. She dropped, roaring through the air as she plummeted, before her dual engines kicked under her and she ducked into a canyon.

* * *

Zoe threw open the door to the engine room where she saw Kaylee strapped to a piece of equipment holding Will and May.

"Zoe! Get out of here!" Kaylee yelled.

May, looked up from her Auntie's arms and screamed plaintively at her mother.

"I want my Momma." Will told Kaylee, clutching her neck and weeping in fear. "If May gets her Momma, I want mine."

"ZOE!" The mechanic shouted as a shower of sparks came from above. "GET OUT!"

"What's going on?!" Grabbing onto a pipe, she pulled herself along.

"Thermal diver is shorting! It's affecting the coolant chamber on the grav-center which is making this whole chase worse!" She explained urgently. "I can't fix it till we're in the black! You gotta get outta here before you get thrown into somethin'!"

There was a jolt, and Zoe went flying out of the engine room, the door slamming on her ankle.

"ZOE!"

* * *

Death.

The ship was armed with death. Destruction and loss. Kill them all the tigershark wanted. Swallow them all whole and gnash it's teeth.

She was crazy, she knew it. It was making her crazy. Everyone screaming and scared. The pains from her crew, the death seeping from their foes. It was all leaking into her brain and disrupting the delicate balance she had established with the help of her brother's medications and their family's support. Driving her insane.

"Are you crazy?!" Jayne bellowed as he pulled himself into the helm and flung himself at a chair. Holding on, he strapped himself down. Staring out at the window, he instantly regretted that decision as rocks and brush flew by at blinding speeds and horrifying nearness.

"Crazy albatross can fly insanely enough to evade the tiger shark."

The canyon before them was about to end, and a wall of rock was approaching far too quickly.

"RIVER YOU BETTER NOT KILL ME!" Jayne shrieked.

"Shut up." River said, feeling an eerie calm wash over her. The dusty red wall grew nearer and nearer. She could see large, individual rocks on the side, and brambles were there was enough water and sun on the face of the canyon.

"River! River! That's a WALL!"

Hoban the gecko clung to the side of the console, his eyes shut tight and his tail curled tightly. Being so adhesive had it's advantages.

"RIVER IF I DIE I'M COMIN' BACK AS A GHOST AND KILLIN' YOUR GHO-"

River threw the switch.

* * *

Serenity's engines swiveled under her and she shot upwards. Evening out, her nose turned up and she climbed rapidly.

The Alliance cruiser slammed into the canyon wall in a finish of fire and metal.

The little Firefly cut through the clouds, and soared towards the black.

* * *

The jostling stopped.

Simon shoved the dead man off of him. He struggled to see. "Warren, are you alright?"

"I hit my head on something." The boy wheezed, his eyes squeezing tight. "I-I-I can't breathe."

"That's your ribs." The doctor groaned, his leg caught under Inara's solid, hand carved wooden table. "Everyone else?"

Mal carefully unhooked himself from the bed and uncurled himself from around Inara. "Inara are you-"

She leaned over him, past his shoulder and promptly threw up what little bile she had.

Pulling her hair back, he patted her back as she finished. "Simon, what-"

With nothing left inside Inara started dry heaving. She coughed and began to pant between each episode, clawing at Mal.

Mal steadied her shoulders. Her face quickly lost its color, and her lips began to grey as she struggled to breathe whilst retching at the same time. When her head lolled as she started to wheeze, it allowed for fear to creep into Mal. "Doc-"

"S-Simon." She sputtered desperately, fearfully. "S-Simon I-"

Mal tried to steady her as well as keep calm. Yet she protectively wrapped an arm around her belly and her eyes began to stream tears and he couldn't. His heart shot to his throat as Simon struggled to shove the table off of himself. "SOMETHING'S WRONG!" He roared fearfully at the doctor. "GET OVER HERE _NOW."_

"Mal, she needs to brea-"

Inara doubled over and cried out in agony.

"No, no, no, no." Mal muttered as he pulled her to his chest and gave her a hand to grip. Her frightened, wet brown eyes opened for a minute, and he saw the utter loss that had siezed her. They were both fixating on the same thing. "It's too early." He said out loud as she struggled. "Breathe Darlin'. Come on, breathe."

* * *

TRANSLATIONS:

**sǐ pì yǎn: **damned asshole

**Zhè jiùshì nǐ dédào de xiǎngfǎ, wǒ yǒuxiē kūwěi de huā rénzhì:** That's what you get for thinking I'm some wilting flower hostage

**hún dàn: **bastard

* * *

**A/N:** Things never go smooth. Thoughts? Comments? Questions? Please leave a review. I love those things.


	11. Infirmary

Jayne's head bobbed. He groaned, and slowly opened his eyes as his vision came to. Turning, he saw River hanging limply in her harness. It forced him to awaken faster as he clumsily grabbed his steering yolk.

"Gorram fool girl!" He snapped, shaking his head to come to faster. "Pulls a maneuver so tā mā de wéixiǎn she up and G-LOC's herself and damn near kills us."

"It worked." She moaned, a weak smile playing on her lips as her eyesight returned.

"Like hell it did! Probably damn near blacked out the whole crew."

"No." He pushed her hair out of her face and grabbed her steering yolk, adjusting Serenity's climb. Her eyes began to water. "But I might have broken a few."

Seeing the guilt brimming her eyes, Jayne unbuckled himself and got up. He stopped and awkwardly tousled her hair in an attempting to be reassuring or... something he supposed. "Don't kill us." He grunted, and stomped out to survery the damage.

* * *

"My eyes!" Will cried out. "Kaylee I can't see nothin'!"

"It's just the G's, baby." As soon as she felt she was alert enough, Kaylee unhooked her harness from the compression pipe and carefully let go of Will. "Give yourself a moment, okay? River must've punched it hard if we felt that."

"I want my Momma." He hiccuped. His big blue eyes were wet and scared.

Like the rest of the crew, Kaylee was aware that William's fear or pain could easily be determined by what names he was using for Mal and Inara. "Inara" or "'Nara", was used in every day conversation. However when he broke into "Momma", that meant it was dire for him. Hoisting the sobbing May to her hip, she pushed him towards the enterance, looking over Serenity with each step she took. "Not to fret. We'll get you your Momma, Xiǎodì."

Stepping in front of him, she had to lean against the wall to steady herself as her legs were still shaky and her stomach was queasy. Eventually she pushed the door open to find Zoe at the bottom of the stairs. The first mate was seated against the wall, cradling her ankle.

And then she heard Simon, Mal and Inara.

"I think she's gonna pass out." Mal said urgently.

"Mal-" Inara's voice was weak and strained.

"Get her in the chair." Simon ordered.

William broke away from Kaylee and took off.

"Will!" She quickly followed him down the stairs.

May saw her mother and screamed, thrusting her hands out and nearly wriggling away from Kaylee in a desperate attempt to get to Zoe. "MAMAMAMAMAMA!"

"Give her to me." Zoe said wearily, unable to stand.

"Zoe are you sure-"

"You need to go get that boy before he sees something that's gonna scar him."

Kaylee hurriedly set May in Zoe's arms and raced to get William. However it was too late, he was standing in the middle of the infirmary's doors gawking at the site of Inara barely conscious and cradling her swollen abdomen. His father was holding her hand and brushing her hair out of her face as Simon rushed the oxygen tank over.

Mal turned to the door and glowered at Kaylee furiously. "GET HIM THE HELL OUT OF HERE!"

She pulled Will into her arms and hurried him away from the scene.

"Inara you _have_ to calm down." Simon urged as he turned up the canister. "You're hyperventilating because of the nausea and the pain."

"It's too-" her head lolled to the side and her glassy eyes met Mal. "Too early."

"Inara." Simon pressed the oxygen mask against her face and cupped her chin. "Deep breath." His eyes were steady and professional as they found her own. "Inara look at me, when you hyperventilate you deprive her _brain_ of oxygen. She can't take that, you need to breathe."

"Bǎobèi," Mal brought his hand up and stroked her curls out. The fear in her eyes terrified him. He had never felt so helpless before, even in Serenity Valley. "I know you're scared, but breathe."

Inara took several large, sputtery breaths and her eyes drooped as the color slowly returned to her face. "I-"

"No talking until you're stable. Here, hold this." Simon told Mal, showing him how to hold the mask on. Gingerly he felt her forehead. "You're feverish."

"Is that bad?" Mal asked.

Simon didm't answer because he wanted both parents to stay calm. Carefully he removed the hands blocking access to her stomach and slipped his fingers into position. "Inara I'm going to check the position of the baby. I'm going to apply just a little pressure."

Mal watched. "Shouldn't you do a scan?"

"It's on the list." He reassured, finishing the exam. "Is she moving? Nod for yes."

Inara tiredly nodded her head. She drew her hands back up to her stomach.

"You're tensing up." He quickly went to set up a tray, pulling an IV line kit from his drawer before going to the liquid medications cabinet. "I need you to relax. I know you had a contraction, however I can make it stop." Bringing the tray over, Simon pulled on his gloves and began to meticulously open packages and set up the kit he needed to treat his patient. "But if you're stressed, the stress exacerbates your symptoms and makes it worse. And if you go into labor, I can't do anything other than deliver her because this is not the Core and I do not have NICU equipment or training."

"So let's be calm." Mal told her shakily as she took another full breath.

"And let's relax your arm so I can put in an IV and give you the medication." Simon carefully took the Companion's hand off of her belly and turned her wrist so it lay up, exposing the veins. Running a finger across the soft skin to feel for the most prominent one, he then tied on a tourniquet. "Squeeze your fist."

"I thought you just had the basics?" Mal watched Simon expertly set the IV line, flush it, and connect the first injection of medical to the port.

"I bought a small lot of emergency pre-natal medication when Zoe was having May." He explained, watching Inara as he gave her the medication. "I never had to use them and they store well. Inara, you might feel a little sluggish, but this is going to help stop the contractions." Disconnecting the injection, he attached another. "One more for a little pain management and to take the edge off of the nausea." He explained as he did so. "I'm going to put you on an IV bag so you get some extra fluids and supplements and monitor you for an hour or so, alright?" He turned to Mal. "You can take the mask off."

"I'm sorry." Inara said wearily. Her entire body ached, and her head began to feel foggy as the medication spread through her system.

"It's alright." Simon reassured. "She's barely twenty-four weeks along and I'm sure the thought of losing her is terrifying, but the anxiety only makes it worse." He went and grabbed blankets. "Going to attach a monitor to your abdomen so we can watch Baby Girl Serra-Reynolds while you lay on the counter. I'd keep you in the chair but I'm sure I've gotta boatful of people who need to be checked out."

"Am I going to have to take more medication?"

"No. Bed rest for a few days and then we'll just watch you a little more closely." The doctor reassured. "No climbing mountains or death-defying capers probably until you deliver."

"Mal," Inara sighed, using up the last of her energy to crack a smile. "I don't think we're going to get to hold up that bank located on that volcano for our anniversary like we wanted to."

Mal chuckled at the sarcasm as it helped him relax. "However will we teach this one crime?"

"Captain," Simon began as he prepped a spot for Inara on the countertop. "Perhaps you could go get Inara something else to wear? I need better access to her abdomen for monitoring, but I don't suppose she's thrilled at the idea of wearing one of my gowns."

"They _are_ drafty." Inara told Mal pointedly. "Maybe you could check on the boys?"

"I'm going to go get Warren, so all you have to worry about is Will." Simon replied.

"Let's get you settled." He told her softly, bending over to plant a kiss on her temple. "That way I don't gotta worry over you."

"Mal, I need you check on _my_ son."

* * *

River heard the sniffles as little boots clattered across the floor.

"I'm fine, Kaylee." William's voice squeakily reassured. His boots became louder as he trampled in and hurried to River.

The pilot gazed down at the little boy standing next to her chair.

He looked up at her with big, frightened eyes. His lower lip quivered, and he squeezed his eyes shut and raced forward, flinging himself at the chair with a sob.

River caught him, pulling him up and hugging him close. His mind overwhelmed her. So much pain and fear overtaking her own emotions, making her feel just as sick to his stomach with worry as he was. The clairvoyant fought back tears.

"Momma's hurt." He hiccuped, burying his face into her flight suit.

"Xiǎodì?"

Will peeled away from River and looked up to find his father reaching down and plucking up up.

"Hey Bubba," Mal soothed, pulling the boy to his chest and patting his back. "You upset about Inara?"

"I don't want my Momma to die." He whimpered into his father's neck. "I never had a good Momma, she's the first one. I don't wanna lose her."

The Captain's eyebrows lifted and he began rocking his body to soothe his little son. He didn't hear that title for Inara too often. "Momma, _huh_."

"Is she gonna die?"

"Oh no." Mal reassured quickly, feeling the little body relax against him. "Your Momma and your Mèimei got hurt, but Simon fixed them right up." He soothed, beginning to talk up and down Serenity's helm. "She's gotta be extra careful now and get lots of rest, but she's fine, Xiǎodì."

"Can I see her?" He asked plaintively.

Mal nuzzled his little boy, feeling extra fatherly with so much going on with his family. "I gotta go help her with somethings first. Can you wait here a spell with River? When I come back we can make her a quick breakfast. Mèimei's made her awfully hungry."

Will sniffled and nodded his head.

Mal kissed the boy's nose. "That's my boy."

* * *

"Hi Zoe." Warren said as he laid on the inflatable mattress that was shoved in the corner of the infirmary.

Zoe looked around the room. She spotted Inara looking rather un-Companion-like on the counter in the Captain's pajama pants and a sweatshirt that was pushed up to expose the wireless sensors pasted onto her abdomen. And Warren was lying on the mattress with his ribs and head wrapped. "Looks like a party." She grunted as she carefully sank into the chair.

"Simon throws the worst parties." The teenage boy griped as his eyes focused on the monitor that held his little sister's ultrasound. Her rapid, thumping heart beat was a low background noise to all of the commotion.

"I think my parties are delightful." The doctor said drolly as he snapped his gloves on and carefully began to take off Zoe's boot.

She clenched her teeth and tried not to cry.

He looked up, noting the pain. "You want me to cut them off?"

"Hell no, these are my good boots." She snapped. "Dope me up."

His lips rolled into his mouth. "I uh… I don't have any pain meds."

She looked at him exasperatedly. "I have a bottle of bourbon in my bunk. Go get that."

"Are you-"

"Simon I'm either going to be _high_ or _drunk_ before you get this boot and these pants off of me." She announced.

"Right."

As the doctor ducked out, Mal slid in carefully carrying a weepy seven year old boy on his hip and a platter of food in his other hand. "Hey, Big Feller, look over there." He urged, planting a kiss to the fluffy head of hair as he moved towards Inara.

Extracting his face from the shoulder, Will twisted his body around to see her laying on the countertop bed. "Momma!"

Inara carefully sat herself up, pulling the sweatshirt down and leaning against the wall. "Hey Baby Boy." Mal set him on the bed next to her and she held him close. "Wǒ ài nǐ, wǒ de érzi tiánmì."

William hugged her and hiccuped back tears.

"Easy, Xiǎodì." She soothed, kissing his temple and patting his back. Relief that she had him in her arms washed over her. "I'm okay, you're okay-"

"Mèimei?"

"Big and strong." She told him, "Look over there at the monitor." She pointed him in the direction of the correct one. "She's right there. See her kicking?"

He nodded his head and sniffled, tacitly reaching out and planting his little hands on the round spot where his sister grew. His big eyes kept fixated on the screen, and he moved his hands to try to figure out where she was. "Her head's big." He said as he leaned against her and petted his Mèimei.

Inara giggled, rubbing his back in soothing circles as he sighed mightily and relaxed because he was safe with his Momma. "She'll grow into it." Looking up, she saw Mal standing there patiently with the plate.

He smiled at them, son and mother. Will's big blue eyes bobbed as he slipped further downwards and carefully nestled his head on her belly, planting a kiss before settling his cheek there. "Be gentle, Xiǎodì."

"He's fine." Inara eyed the plate. He had brought a hefty serving of peaches, two large slices of buttered of toast, and a tall mug of warm milk for her. Her fingers stopped absently playing with Will's hair as she fixated on the breakfast she had yet to eat.

"I'd tease ya but you look fit to bite my hand if I got too close." Mal told her, ignoring her glare as he set the plate down within reach.

"Why the hell does she get to eat in here?" Jayne groused as he entered the infirmary. "Last time I did I got chewed out for crumbs."

"Doctor's orders." Simon said as he passed Jayne and brandished the bottle of booze.

"Hell whadda I gotta do to eat where I want?" He muttered.

"I'm sure there's a mad scientist lurking around somewhere in the 'Verse who could give you what ails me." Inara replied, her words dripping with sarcasm. Neatly she tucked into her bowl of peaches and ignored there mercenary's sneer.

"I think there's one in the Core that I went to medical school with." Simon said dryly, passing the bourbon onto his patient.

"Bless you." Zoe eagerly un-corked the bottle.

"Where's Kaylee?" Mal asked.

"Here." Kaylee chimed as she neared. "I had to snuggle her for awhile, but May's down."

"How are you feeling?" Simon asked as he anticipated Zoe's injuries and put together a tray for a cast.

"Queasy. Those Gs River pulled put my stomach up in my throat, but I'm okay." She reassured.

"I had some tunnel vision myself." Simon admitted. "As soon as I'm done with Zoe I'll give the rest of you a look over."

"And that was the grav-center?" Mal asked seriously.

"The used thermal drivers we put in to swap out our old ones shorted. It blew the grav-center's coolant chamber, which affected the grav-center's ability to stabilize Serenity's internal gravity." She explained succinctly, leaning up against the door. "It worked, just not as... well... normal."

"You coulda fooled me." Jayne grumbled, folding his arms against his chest.

"If it had died out completely, we all would just be really messy bits stuck to the wall." She explained to him. "It's just on the fritz though. I can go in and re-programed the coolant sensor program, but once we're on Highgate we gotta park so I can tear her apart and put her back right."

"We gonna be able to land with it just barely hangin' on?" The Captain leaned against the counter near Inara who was sharing her drink with Will.

"Yeah, but we gotta come in real slow." Kaylee pressed. "If we run too hot, we could blow the whole system, including Serenity's cabin temperature regulators."

"Let's not do that." William piped as he pulled Inara's blanket over his shoulders.

Mal smirked at the child's opinion. "I second that." He turned to Jayne "You gotta body count?"

"Ten dead feds. I've spaced eight. Figure I'll clean up the rest when we're done here."

"What about our cargo?" Inara asked.

"We lost a few." The merc reported. "I pulled 'em outta the pen."

"If we butcher that meat and hang it in the airlock, open up the door, they'll freeze and preserve nicely." Zoe mentioned as she sat back and let the alcohol do it's work. "Eddie might understand the circumstances."

"Agreed." Mal nodded his head. "Jayne, you go butcher up that meat. I'll clean up what's left of our visitors." He looked down at his eldest. "Dàgē, you gonna be of any use?"

"He's got a concussion and three fractured ribs." Simon reported. "As soon as he's ready he's going into his bunk for a few days."

"Sorry." Warren said sheepishly.

"Kaylee, think you can keep her running on your own?"

"Not a problem." She reassured.

"Anyone check on River?" Zoe began to slur a little.

"She's a bit addled, but she's better now that our wounded are being treated." Mal announced. "I'll check to see what our ETA is, but it looks like this crew is gonna run lean for a spell."

"Zoe?" Simon asked.

"I could use a little longer." She sighed. "It hasn't all kicked in yet."

The doctor looked around to his other patients, studying Inara's monitor. Despite Zoe's high pain tolerance, he knew there was going to be quite a lot of screaming when he got her boot off, and started treating her broken ankle. "Inara, you and Mèimei are looking pretty good. Let's keep you on the drip and monitor and move you to a bunk so you can rest, maybe with Will?" He offered.

Inara nodded. "I'm sure you could use the space."

"Alright." Mal sighed, walking towards the door. "Everyone who can work, let's go. Gotta long journey back and we gotta make it in one piece."

Simon watched Jayne and Mal head out, but he made sure Kaylee could see he wanted to talk. "Zoe, you may want to take a few more swills." The doctor suggested as he went to go fetch supplies for Inara's move. Grabbing the portable monitor, another IV bag and slipping a needle and another syringe of medication into his pocket, he headed towards the door. "Inara, I'm going to go turn down a bed and then come get you." He left, looking at Kaylee significantly. Ducking into the hearest spare bunk, he set the supplies down as she wandered in.

"I'm okay, Sweetie." She reassured, going over to help turn down the bed as he secured the fresh IV bag to the wall so it would drip properly. Her eyes caught him setting another syringe of medication down on the night stand. "I didn't know Inara was so bad she needed another round of drugs." She mused as she pulled a pillow and blanket out of the cabinet.

"She doesn't." He told her, shutting the door and pulling an needle out of his pocket. Carefully he screwed it onto the syringe of medication.

Stopping, she set the pillow and blanket on the mattress. "Simon, I feel fine, really. I tied myself down so I didn't get tossed about."

"Can you just let me be thorough to soothe me nerves?" Simon asked quietly.

She saw how fretful he was and sighed. Taking a seat and offering up an arm, she watched his attentiveness.

"It'll just take a second." He reassured, tearing a swab packet and wiping down the inside of her elbow. "And you're not feeling anything other than an upset stomach?"

"Not even that anymore. We were so close to the internal gravity, we didn't get it as bad as everyone else."

Carefully he injected the medication. "If you start to feel any kind of cramping or fatigue or body aches-"

"You'll be the first to know." She reassured, watching him slip the needle away and press a cotton ball on the spot.

"Thank you." He said appreciatively. Capping the needle, he placed some tape on the cotton ball and helped her up.

Kaylee snaked her hands up around his ned and pressed a kiss to his lips.

"What was that for?" He asked sweetly, his hands tugging at the coveralls bunched at her hips.

"For now." She kissed again. "For later. I figure we both gotta long day's work ahead of us."

"Probably right."

* * *

TRANSLATIONS

**Tā mā de wéixiǎn:** Fucking dangerous

**Bǎobèi:** Mèimei: Darling.

**Xiǎodì:** Little brother

**Mèimei:** sister

**Wǒ ài nǐ, wǒ de érzi tiánmì:** I love you my sweet son

**Dàgē:** Big brother

* * *

**A/N:** Does the G-Force notion make sense? Not entirely sure when the next chapter will arrive. There is an ending though! And we are near! Thoughts? Comments? Love it? Hate it? Let me know.


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